10 July - Carrie & Samantha

A lovely night out with my SATC double act G. (she Samantha, me Carrie, though am the oldest of the two and the less prudish come to think of it, and she’s a good writer too). She’s not been to the City for years. There are squeals of delight when I point out we’re drinking on the ground floor of the Old Royal Exchange and that was the old trading floor and she says ‘Daddy took me here when I was 9 years old!). I ask why neither she nor her brother tried to have a city career (father is one of the authorities/writer on the stock market) and she says it’s because they were old enough to experience the absolute devastation heaped on the family when father lost everything in the 1987 crash. Ahhh, that would explain why her money is in all on property not stocks. I dare not mention I’ve seen an invite someone I know is sending out for October with ‘Come to a party to celebrate 20 years of the stock market crash’.
We move on to the Coq D’Argent which is throbbing with people and I’d forgotten how great the views are and the sun comes out at 7 o clock to blind us) but there’s no one of interest to her man-wise or me (am always up for talking to new people, not necessarily as potential new partners but because I’m sick of just talking to women) and so head for dinner at Cipriani which we knew would be overpriced for what we eat – pretty standard Italian fare and I’ve had plenty on recent Italian holiday – but it’s buzzing and bright and waiters appear all around us to cater for our every whim and they wear my beloved classic ocean liner waiter whites.

We proceed to put the world to right by writing a treatment for a TV mock-umentary on women’s lives in 2027. A female based update of 1984 if you like. Won’t divulge, it’s too funny if I say so myself. But she casts Greta Scacchi as me (uhmmm no, don’t llike her as me, she’s too hard edged and I never fancied her) and Kirsten Dunst for herself – now this is totally perfect choice. She wants Judy Dench in there – and for sure she can play G’s mum - and as for men, we need loads in the programme of all ages and colours. Maybe we can even have David Tennant being that we er.. have to travel to the future. Our entry point is the ladies’ loo at Cipriani of course. Our return crashing point is our current table by the door which we’re not sure if it’s good or not but for our rubbernecking it is. Anyway, no stars to report of, though who knows, some of the guys may have been footballers for all I know or Bollywood royalty.

G, is being pursued by a married lord in the Tory party (he says he and the wife lead separate lives but that’s not what it says on his official page) and she shows me his texts inviting her to his country lair any weekend she wishes. When I google him on her BB, it puts me off my food. He’s sooo UGLY and nearly 50! I can’t believe he’d even try it on with a stunning, leggy 35 year old blonde. It may work for him if she was stupid and 25 but surely not now. We laugh for a while at the possibility of doing an Antonia Sancha but those days are gone and this guy is not in power for the time being.
Then again in the past an equally ugly and shorter old man who used to manage a huge artist and still manages others did attempt the same and failed. And then again one of these ugly men (a footballer’s manager) once managed to secure her as his girlfriend for a few months. But that’s only because she was weak as post-end of relationship with her Mr Big and the trips to Harrods footie manager arranged were hard to resist as every weeping and abandoned by Mr Big girl likes it when a man calls her his princess even if he ends up imprisoning her in Essex. She escaped because you can only have sex with people you fancy for real or you’re a prozzie and she had to let that one go. To go out with revolting men – however clever - just for the sake of being pursued would be a huge mistake. You can tell that me no Maria and no Jackie in the face of Mr Onassis. It would have been a firm ‘No’ and you can keep the yacht. I tell her so. You have to be cruel to your friends or what use is your love if not to keep them safe from harm? Then I have to stop her from texting a couple of exes and going there as we leave the restaurant. It works until I leave her taxi to continue my journey by bus. Not sure if she then texted them again, but her Blackberry was dying out, so hope not. I know a girl has needs but Carrie would have done the same for Samantha.