1 July - We reach the Beach

A body fascist post. Beware and don't read if my fattism offends you. More to be posted on this but the first shocking revelation is that Italians are as fat as the Brits. The kids are all little buddhas complete with man boobs. And that's the 9 to 13 age boys! What happened. Did some foreign stick like Audrey Hepburn invent Capri pants in the 50's/60's and not some bonafide size 6 Capri natives? I know they eat pasta and pizza lunch and dinner, but in Milan they don't look like this. Is Milan like NYC or LA ie an island that attracts the fit and healthy and the rest of the country is slob city? I should not have worried, am positively slinky here, the mothers are a cellulite nightmare and the fathers are browner than the Brits but that's all they have going.

I know it's early July and this is the time for families to go on holiday but this is clearly a huge disappointment. Man totty practically zero, no footballer-like washboards stomachs, though i see longish hair on blokes all aroudn me. Toph and J have no desire to leave their deckchairs to go prowling on the beach. The only girls they could fancy here are 13 year olds (the boobs are huge but the waists have not expanded yet) and they're not keen to reveal a leery side of themselves and just commiserate with me. However, all this does is allow me to go for icecream without guilt, as it would take me a month to expand to the dimensions on show here. I think my friend who owns top fashion company in the land, clearly can't be doing roaring business in the South. And she'd already complained they couldn't sell any clothes in Canada as their sizes are too large for their items.