14 November - Party & Paris

We’re invited to a party in Paris in early December. I have not been for… years, and last few times was due to work commitments. Usually have no desire to go… not my city, never fell for it big time. I’ve never been able to explain it but I like it grittier, as it is in London and in NYC. Am sort of looking forward it and wonder how the party will be. I speak French so no problems communicating there. The host is one of the most beautiful men you’d ever meet. In fact on the rare occasions I met him, I have found it impossible not to touch his arm, his shoulder, to physically reach for him.

I can’t say I fancy him and there’s no interest from him either. He’s just a calm, good natured, incredibly symmetrically beautiful man who happens to also be very fit – clearly visible through his thin layers of pure cashmere. And the thing that clinched it is the way his face took on this look when he mentioned Brazil, where he goes for business, and I just knew he was remembering the sex he had there with.. whoever. The thing with beautiful men is that you can see no demarcation between touching their elbow and … kissing them. He’s the same age of all my perfect young lovers (30 or looking 30 anyway) who are forever crystallised in the episodes they starred in. Wouldn’t go down very well with Toph, though am sure he has similar thoughts about beautiful girls he gets to meet, who hasn’t? Ah, why can’t we all just sleep with everyone we like and suffer no consequences?