18 July - Paradise & Yoga

Oh no, just checked Danny Paradise website. Awesome. No wonder Toph wants to achieve similar stage of perfection. He’s now talking of going on jungle retreat next January with said Danny (if he gets invited, you can’t just pay and go you know). Danny has no fixed abode or lives in Hawaii. And has a gorgeous assistant/lover also on website. I’m all for practicing, should try and keep up and Toph breathing/stomach rotations clearly improve his lovemaking as there’s no stomach rotation without attached co ck movement but… I sincerely hope this is not the route of work Toph wants to embark on. A long time ago when in the midst of close to 40 ‘what to do next/forever’ stage - we all have to go through it, I said to various friends to please shoot me if I came up with the ‘I’m going to become an ayurvedic masseuse/yoga instructor’ line. It seems a cop out route somehow, though some people are very talented and yes, I do need their services myself. And at sometimes £80 for 90 mins, it clearly makes financial sense to them. It’s just that despite the fact that they teach Sting and Madonna, and can become very rich, they still end up having to have long hair, talk a lot of spiritual bollox and wear lose clothing or… conversely never wear spandex and platform shoes. Don’t ask but have you ever met a yoga teacher who also wears Vivienne Westwood shoes? I don’t think am making a very valid case for what could be my objections to Toph becoming a yoga teacher. Possibly the fact that they all end up shagging their students? But he could shag his researchers and that doesn’t seem to be so worrying? Not all yoga babes are babes and not all researchers are ugly. Mmhhh… I clearly need to meditate on this and get to the bottom of antipathy.