25 February - Storms & Vodkas
We’re going for dinner with a writer in a few days… Toph confesses he’s never read him on account of being friends with the writer’s partner and not him directly. I think it’s rude to have drinks with people who slave away to write and not having had the courtesy to skim a few of their lines. Although Toph could argue that were we friends with a rat catcher we wouldn’t ask to go spend a day watching him catch rats or indeed google stuff to find out how exactly it is that he does it. Same if we were friends with a hairdresser, we wouldn’t necessarily want to go to their establishment to have our haircuts etc.
I know, but writers, musicians, painters… it’s not a skill it’s a talent, you have to pay homage to it. So it is that I go and visit some second-hand bookshops in order to acquire said writer’s books. Surprisingly, and happily for him, he doesn’t seem to be discarded easily and I find none.
So I went on Amazon. This is simply because he writes thrillers, political and/or simply involving old fashioned murderers of women using peculiar methods of despatching them. These kind of novels are not my style; I read one a couple of years ago because I had to, something called Blood Simple, apparently a best seller, the plot based around a stag night prank gone wrong and treacherous girlfriends and treacherous but not as smart as the girlfriend, business partners. Although I couldn’t guess the outcome, neither was I very interested in finding out and it did not keep me awake at night finishing it… it took a while in fact and I happily abandoned it on a train as soon as I skipped to the last chapter. So… understandably I’m reluctant to pay top price for something I know I won’t like, willing as I am to try anything, you don’t get to this age still unsure of how you want to spend your time. The 2 novels I order on Amazon arrive. Can’t believe there are businesses out there that bother to post me a book on which their profit must be all of 90p but thank you. I start reading them in tandem to maximise this sort of waste of my time as there are some other novels by the bed and by the sofa and by the kitchen table and by the desk which are calling me with ‘You bought us and you’re too busy gallivanting around town to make time to read us. Shame on you!’
I merely discover that the latest one is an improvement on the previous one. There is a more interesting setting than the UK, there are more symbols, more metaphors and more of those ‘his blah blah was like a blah blah something else’ which doesn’t necessarily recreate any great image in your head but adds to the word count and I have 3 or 400 more pages to go. Ok, am being ungenerous here, I do know how much effort a novel involves, and the plotting has to be plotted very accurately especially if you’re talking about the fall of the Soviet Union etc etc and I do admire anyone who finishes writing a novel and getting it published. I do.
I’m 130 pages in on both and the dinner is in 8 days. I should manage. But if you haven’t got anything nice to say about something then the old adage stands ie best not to say anything. I am feeling weird getting the books out on the commute into work. I fear someone I know may see me and I won’t be able to explain why I’m skimming them. Then again I’d probably draw some appreciative glance from men, this form of literature being their territory. The writer in question won’t care about my opinion anyway as he sells them by the cartload, has had a TV drama made from an early one and is getting married in luxury in Tuscany in the Summer. Will I cause us to be dis-invited if I make the wrong comment or no comment at all? Then again we were invited without first ascertaining our thoughts on the subject of his novels. But what are we going to talk about at dinner? Or is the fact we’ve chosen a fashionable restaurant the ruse to get us distracted with a bit of star spotting? Then again I don’t know if our writer is so known that some heads will turn when he takes his seat at the table. Will I resist mentioning this not so humble blog? Will Toph find more of interest in thosse novels than I do? Can I get him away from his current fave? The Robert Fisk tome, itself a whopper, a brick, a War and Peace type tome? And did I mention some soul in the Amazon reviews said she re-read one twice and the other one three times? Why? What hidden meanings had she missed and was trying to find. Why not give some new novel a chance instead?
I know, but writers, musicians, painters… it’s not a skill it’s a talent, you have to pay homage to it. So it is that I go and visit some second-hand bookshops in order to acquire said writer’s books. Surprisingly, and happily for him, he doesn’t seem to be discarded easily and I find none.
So I went on Amazon. This is simply because he writes thrillers, political and/or simply involving old fashioned murderers of women using peculiar methods of despatching them. These kind of novels are not my style; I read one a couple of years ago because I had to, something called Blood Simple, apparently a best seller, the plot based around a stag night prank gone wrong and treacherous girlfriends and treacherous but not as smart as the girlfriend, business partners. Although I couldn’t guess the outcome, neither was I very interested in finding out and it did not keep me awake at night finishing it… it took a while in fact and I happily abandoned it on a train as soon as I skipped to the last chapter. So… understandably I’m reluctant to pay top price for something I know I won’t like, willing as I am to try anything, you don’t get to this age still unsure of how you want to spend your time. The 2 novels I order on Amazon arrive. Can’t believe there are businesses out there that bother to post me a book on which their profit must be all of 90p but thank you. I start reading them in tandem to maximise this sort of waste of my time as there are some other novels by the bed and by the sofa and by the kitchen table and by the desk which are calling me with ‘You bought us and you’re too busy gallivanting around town to make time to read us. Shame on you!’
I merely discover that the latest one is an improvement on the previous one. There is a more interesting setting than the UK, there are more symbols, more metaphors and more of those ‘his blah blah was like a blah blah something else’ which doesn’t necessarily recreate any great image in your head but adds to the word count and I have 3 or 400 more pages to go. Ok, am being ungenerous here, I do know how much effort a novel involves, and the plotting has to be plotted very accurately especially if you’re talking about the fall of the Soviet Union etc etc and I do admire anyone who finishes writing a novel and getting it published. I do.
I’m 130 pages in on both and the dinner is in 8 days. I should manage. But if you haven’t got anything nice to say about something then the old adage stands ie best not to say anything. I am feeling weird getting the books out on the commute into work. I fear someone I know may see me and I won’t be able to explain why I’m skimming them. Then again I’d probably draw some appreciative glance from men, this form of literature being their territory. The writer in question won’t care about my opinion anyway as he sells them by the cartload, has had a TV drama made from an early one and is getting married in luxury in Tuscany in the Summer. Will I cause us to be dis-invited if I make the wrong comment or no comment at all? Then again we were invited without first ascertaining our thoughts on the subject of his novels. But what are we going to talk about at dinner? Or is the fact we’ve chosen a fashionable restaurant the ruse to get us distracted with a bit of star spotting? Then again I don’t know if our writer is so known that some heads will turn when he takes his seat at the table. Will I resist mentioning this not so humble blog? Will Toph find more of interest in thosse novels than I do? Can I get him away from his current fave? The Robert Fisk tome, itself a whopper, a brick, a War and Peace type tome? And did I mention some soul in the Amazon reviews said she re-read one twice and the other one three times? Why? What hidden meanings had she missed and was trying to find. Why not give some new novel a chance instead?
posted by Lisa Taylor @ 4:44 AM
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