15 February - Valentines & Blunders

Valentine’s massacres, I wonder how many today. Mine was splendid and well worth the anticipation, but I wonder how many casualties. I started a blog once, called The Daily Flirt. In it, I meant to give cheeky advice to men in need. A sort of Debretts for dating and so on, or at least as funny as that letters page/column in the Sunday Times. Of course it fell by the wayside like many of my other half arsed light bulb ideas. But I’ve always thought that if in doubt ABOUT ANYTHING you should ask. Someone, somewhere has the answer you seek. Problems may arise if you don’t have any doubts and therefore don’t ask but…. I always think it’s silly to read in the papers in those days preceding Valentine, all those words of advice but there clearly is a need. Let’s repeat it one more time: if you have a girlfriend, flowers and chocs are the defaults. So is dinner at home or out (personally I don’t do out). You either do it all or say you don’t believe in it and save yourself the hassle and here is why I offer two cautionary tales.

One man bought her 'only' flowes. He had gone to Harvey Nicks and picked up some roses only to be told at the till that that would come to £90. He correctly said 'You must be joking!' and left them. Am not sure what other flowers he picked up and yes, his girlfriend has everything but... for the avoidance of future doubts, flowers, like chocolate, are the default gift - am I repeating myself? - and should not be the only gift as this denotes lack of imagination. So are books actually, fine at other times, not at Valentine unless a first edition of a much sought after tome. This man is currently not busy working (and not income-less) so he had more time than most to scout around for something a bit more meaningful. If you want to play this game, play it well.

Which is what the other man did ... except... He bought expensive food/sushi in a city where it's hard to find. Expensive champagne and wine. Flowers ... and an ipod. Understandably he threw a chair at the wall when his girlfriend said, at the end of the meal 'So, darling, where did you hid my shinly little rock?' He felt he had done enough but... he didn't consider the following: he's a foodie and his girlfriend knows that the feast was for himself as much as for her and that the fact he'd spent so much on it was irrelevant when he failed to get her what she's been asking for and not got in three years ie. a shiny token of affection. A tiny sparkler, that's what she wanted, not an ipod which incidentally is the same thing she got him for Christmas. For this girl, a daisy and a pizza would have been enough in terms of default gift and the rest better invested at the jewellery shop.

I am not telling you here what these women bougth for their men. For once am not interested in a balanced view, just want to remind men that it's a minefield out there as these two are hardly oiks who don't know what to do but you can still get it wrong. A quick call to the Daily Flirt in person would have saved lots of tears and recriminations.
TBC sorry am busy but will continue at some point. TBC