14 July - Good Housekeeping is not Good Sexing

One of those moral dilemmas, this magazine has started turning up at my house addressed to someone who doesn’t live in it and short of going to ask along the street for neighbours names… (this privacy thing in UK is mad. You go to Europe and every Parisian, Spaniard and Italian has their surname proudly displayed on their entry/doorbells) I kept it. However it is not Vogue or Harpers, it’s my luck that it’s Good Housekeeping and whilst I turn the cookery pages over fast (I always wonder who is it that loves reading recipes and especially who may actually want to make their own scones? Why? Do they live in the middle of nowhere and have nothing to do, not even a book to read at hand but plenty of wholewheat flour??) I find myself reading those tips and tricks, you know, if you want to clean x off y, you mix a tablespoon of z with a few drops of w. I mean, I don’t even have the items that the tips are made for and I’m reading this shit!!!

Frankly I must be not just getting old (though I did conceal the cover of the offending magazine whilst on the tube, god forbid I get caught reading this demographic) but senile in fact. I need to spend a night at Chinawhite probably in order to re-discover the me I prefer.