4 October - Obits and Obelisks

It’s a good thing that despite not being shy of expressing an opinion, I also don’t desperately wish to express one, especially if in the presence of people I don’t yet know well and who appear to be happy not to say anything when confronted with more dominant personalities. You could say that I’ll debate anything for a while and then sort of let it go, unless I had to cast a vote etc. So it is that recently I went to a book club with assorted women I don’t know (only know the host). I did try to involve another friend but she reminded me of a rule I’d made and she’s adopted which is ‘Don’t need to spend time hanging with any more females’. Fair enough but I know I don’t read outside of my reading patterns and fancied being confronted by different suggestions.

However, I was definitely quick enough to let them know hat I wasn’t interested if all it would be was an excuse to drink more wine and gossip, and with that in mind we’d agreed that chit chat is limited to the time spent waiting for various arrivals, then we talk about the book and then we carry on with personal talk. By which point I’d have left or about to leave.

First month went fine, loved the book choice. Second month also fine but once again had noticed one woman saying zero and thinking to myself maybe she needs the social interaction and fair enough. I also had some opinions that I’m glad I didn’t express ...apart from the sweeping generalisation a propos some characters ‘Russians are melancholic by nature or manic. It’s all that heavy vodka drinking you see’. So said me who’s never been to Russia but has a penchant for Russian writers and was astounded that all present had not read Anna Karenina for example, but that’s the beauty of such a little gathering, new discoveries. This in light of the fact that following day book club host told me that after two of us left shortly after book discussion ended with the 'buy it, borrow it, bin it' vote, the session carried on and turned into a cry-fest fuelled by the wine.

One woman has a manic depressive sister who’s tried to commit suicide and the silent woman was upset because the following day she was going to view (for the first and probably last time) footage of the death of her husband who she’d been with for 30 years and who was blown up in Afghanistan (journalist or cameraman). Which is truly the worst thing I’ve heard in months. So it is with relief that I realise I also did not say the following given that the book discussed is called Death and the Penguin and centres on an obituary writer. I was going to suggest we all try and write each other’s obit as we’d be very surprised about what even people who know us reasonably well would retain in the 500 words required to summarise a non famous/non Nobel prize winner ordinary person. I was also going to say that we should also get someone who doesn’t know us at all to write an obit and see which one comes out best. I don’t think the widow amongst us would have coped very well with my line of thinking. However by that point it had already fallen on me to chose the book for the next meeting and er… it’s 'Music for Torching' by AM Homes and so I’ll have to re-read it for possible, potentially hurtful angles. But that still leaves 3 other women who didn’t break down after the last book club and god knows what nasty things life has done to them. I need to do some research before next time.