3 February - Naked Torsos & lemmings

I was curious when I saw the big boards with the very gay (or just jock) b/w photos of men’s torsos, advertising the Abercrombie & Fitch shop on the corner of Savile Row. But that was then. I actually finally went in only because we had parked nearby to go to the Royal Academy and there was a man with a naked torso standing in the entrance and it was 6 degrees and he was super beefy so I had to check it out. Yes, that old ruse, show me the flesh. Imagine this: the music is deafening and the store is huge but filled to the rafters with hundreds of items of only a few same lines ie. you get the same t shirt in ten colours or the same polo in ten colours or the same flip flops staked to the rafters and there’s piles and piles, the idea seems to be stack them high, make it like an Aladdin’s cave that will inspire wonder just because of the size and quantity. And everything has the logo stitched on so huge and prominent it just seems obscene. Even Fila have reduced the size of theirs, and look at Nike and their little woosh. But no, this lot seem to aim at a college fraternity type of person. That’s alien in the UK right? Despite rugby and football clubs. So why? The music is relentless and loud, (am more annoyed that I can’t actually identify the tracks) and quite distracting. The lighting is dark and people are wandering around like you do in club going from room to room, like in the Ministry of Sound ten years ago. The most incredible thing is that the store is chocka with people. I mean, Victoria station choka. Why? Just because there aren’t that many stores open on a Sunday? Or not in this formerly lovely little back water corner away from Regent St and Bond St? Is it because if you buy something you get a carrier bag with the naked torso? Is it because you is black or a schoolgirl and everyone has to have what everyone else has? Why why why? This stuff is glorified Gap, in fact it’s worse, it has no design value, it’s just preppy shit made in China (of course) and costing £50 for a polo. Since when are consumers this cretin lemmings bunch? I seriously had a freak out moment, a get me out of here, I hate the Americanisation of everything, I will become radicalised, I will burn their stores, I will never help a dying man at the side of a road if he’s wearing that stupid logo.

I took refuge in the Russian/French influenced painters exhibition. It had no music but it was just as busy. Stupid me to go to a gallery at 4pm on a Sunday. Never again. It was good but not overwhelmingly so. The Picassos on display were hideous African carving period inspired. The Matisse was not more awe inspiring than what you’ve always seen in a book, just bigger.

And Count Arthur Strong at the Arts theatre later was not that funny. Even my 3 male friends who are fans said so. Maybe he works best on Radio 4. He’s not bad looking when he’s out of the shuffling 70 year old forgetful old crony character though… Nice spectacles Stephen.

Maybe I should stick to staying in and reading on a Sunday.