Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Monday, June 29, 2009

28 June

When I worry about the healthy functions of my brain, ie. when things go wrong and friends say ‘It’s stress’ I forget that I do probably overload it. Having a magpie approach to my reading, no left behind magazine is safe to chuck till I’ve had a look. So I find myself reading long departed tenant’s old post and their the alumni magazines for example. Spent a while with one on medicine and farmacology from a US university, and bizarrely recognised chunks of its information from things I had already read in general newspapers: things on cancer, things on nutrition, things on research and so on. Do people who put newspapers like Metro together scour the same news agencies that get their info from universities? I also read the magazine of the LSE and again some of the economics, social articles seemed to contain familiar content. Sad case that I am, when I read this stuff I find myself wishing I could attend all these seminars, read all the long versions of the research.

I also came across a magazine on health for management officials/professionals in that field. What a stressed life they lead. Nearly all articles where on how to cope with reviews, redundancies, ill disposed public and other entities who hate you and think you're to blame for, well everything. All the world seems to be against Health Managers, since they have to justify cuts and why they produce endless reports spending a ton on money on management consultants rather than ambulances, and they must be the ones spreading MRSA. You know the score. Once again I thought thank god it never occurred to me to work in social work or health administration or schools or london underground.

Then if that’s not enough for absorbing info I don’t need in my life, I found myself trying to make sense of: numerics, analytic solutions, stuff that makes the mind boggle. Basically I was just checking out what an acquaintance does in case it’s complementary or competitive to what another acquaintance does and since he’s male, she female, I could introduce them and they could … be geeks together. Outside of work they’re anything but , but you know, you have to start somewhere. . He’s head of sales for Europe, so is she. I imagine if you eavesdropped on them you’d think they are talking in Arabic. Sad that I am, I wish I could understand more in-depth what their respective systems do, so for example, if I met his boss I could chat to him. Here’s what his bio says and it’s interesting no?

Xxx spent 19 years at Microsoft during which time he developed Microsoft's common cross-language compiler and runtime technology, the enterprisewide software and architecture strategies for the Office, Back Office and Windows product lines. Dr. xxx's experiences as the chief architect of Office applications and chief architect of languages at Microsoft have been instrumental to xxx as it continues to lead the market in cross-asset analytics.
Dr. xxx earned an AM and a PhD in Applied Mathematics from Harvard University and has a BA in Mathematics from the University of Virginia.

So you know, when I have all of this in my head and I lose my purse, well, no wonder am in a daze. Though, recent success is … getting it right at Bond St after 5 months. Yes, for all this time, despite using the interchange there every day between Central and Jubilee I could never turn into the right direction of the platform and find myself stepping off the train and right in front of the subway to the escalators to the surface. I was invariably already at the opposite end and had to walk 3 mins along the empty track to make it to the exit. This has annoyed me for weeks, needless to say, but any mental note I made every day just got scrambled. Till now. I did it. This coincides with the week after my house move. So it has to be true that the stress of that was contributing massively.

But what if a surgeon moves house? What then? What if instead of not working out spatially in which direction he should be going, he takes left for right when he’s cutting you up? Or are there stress blocking drugs one can take? Only thought of those now… after the event as usual.



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