Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Thursday, May 12, 2011

9 May - Travel & Twerps

This morning I caught myself thinking 'must not stand next to you, I hate you' a' propos another commuter and never thought my inner spat with this person had grown to this level.

She usually travels later than me but this morning I was late and the bus was also very late. She gets it upstream from me but can't be much as she's standing, so just a couple of stops perhasp. For some reason I find myself next to her often, this is because I realise it at last moment and often and try to step away quickly, because (and this is the reason I hate her) she hogs space by the exit door despite not needing to get off till the station where we ALL get off and I'd be usually one of the people who tries to get to the EMPTY space and often empty seats at the back of the bus, so that other people at next stop can get on the bus instead of being left kerbside because the driver thinks the bus is full becauase these wankers just bunch up at the front. And when you say 'exuse me, can I please step past you', they... glare at you. As if your suggestion was bonkers and not the fact that other people have their exit impeded by the hoggers by the door who are there simply to shave 1 min off their eventual exit.

Annoying woman is always on her BB and wears sunglasses even when no sun is out so you could think she's not seeing the obstruction she causes but hard to be that self obsessed. Though she's very short so her stance has to be that short people are entitled to their space. When she gets off she has a similar pace to mine (she's sort of knock kneeded but not as much as some japanese girls are) so have to either overtake her or stand well behind because 9 out of 10 she'll be in a similar spot to mine on the platform. So I have to register where she is in order to get on different compartment. The last thing that I want to cross is being on same coach, standing at different ends and then divying for same seat that becomes available. That would be war.
She also gets off at my stop so that's another possible escalator brush off.

No idea why I have focussed on her out of many other hoggers on the bus. Possibly because she's youngish and white and regular /short size so in the event of uttering a string of abuse at her I'd be unlikely to use stuff that can then get me to Mel Gibson level, which is when nobody has any sympathy for you even if you may be an aggrieved party.

The worse I could do is 'Who do you think you are? Debbie Harry or frikking Brix Smith?' she's same height as the latter and wears her handbag on crook of elbow which is what Smith would do - but not Harry. Harry is also massively more attractive than Smith and this woman is not at Harry's level, but you know, the peroxide short fluffy cut is modelled on her for sure. I have typecast her as a shop assistant or maybe manager of a few people as she's getting in earlier than others to open shop? Or is it assistants who get in early and manager gets in later? Who knows, not my area. Shop cannot be a Gucci or the like, she's more rock chick than that, so am thinking a Karen Millen though she's not wearing that and too short to project 'wag when interviewing for office job' which is what Karen Millen is.

One of these mornings I'm going to have to follow her... oh dear.

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