18 May - susie & the boots

Today I am going to write the diary in the shoes of one of my friend’s best friends. Susie is an ex large film company employee, now a part time graphic designer. She is married to banker Louis who still harbours the desire to be a famous DJ and in fact indulges his fantasy by owning super decks and peripheral equipment in both his houses (Richmond and Ibiza), complete with chill out zone and a ‘you’re the greatest’ captive audience when the couple give parties. He’s not bad, but really, it’s all a bit silly. They gave 2 children aged 5 and 2 and lately holiday regularly in their beautiful house in Ibiza which took 2 years to get ready to their very high standards. They did find out though that with the kids it was not the same as in the 90’s when they could go to Pete Tong’s house and stay out all weekend. They also found out that they still wanted to go somewhere else, like for example to one of those bizarre hyper-reality (or outer?) resorts like Dubai. And yes, for £800 a night, you do manage to relax I guess.

Louis is so designer obsessed he has been known to fly to Milan to buy a pair of leather thigh high Max Mara boots for the wife when the shops in London said they wouldn’t be getting any in stock. He then instantly fucked her the moment she wore them. Not bad after seven years married. He buys most of her clothes. The downside is that Susie can’t buy anything that Louis wouldn’t like and when they shop together she basically acts like an in house model and he makes her parade up and down wearing the stuff in the shop and he can take up to 40 minutes to chose a …belt. He also tends to dress her a bit young for her age but the glossies are full of so called yummy mummies and that must be the peer group.

So today Susie would say: woke up this morning feeling very unwell but Louis insisted I do my exercises, in fact bullied me and mentioned I have put on an ounce on my hips since last week. He likes to watch me doing them even more so since the boob job. Long needed in his view, you can’t have a boyish, no-hips figure and also be blessed with natural big breasts. No, impossible. Only exists on Barbie dolls, which if we had daughters instead of sons he would buy in those limited editions lines dressed by JP Gaultier etc. Before he left the nanny and the cleaner arrived and took the kids off me. Thank god, little Ben is uncontrollable these days and just fixing breakfast tired me out. Went to my studio on the top floor of the house and thought of a few ideas. Now that both the London and Ibiza houses are finished and so are the respective landscaped gardens, I need a new project, maybe something commercial for a client. Will call my old contacts at BBH and see if there’s anything to outsource. Still, what they pay wouldn’t keep me in designer summer sandals but Louis said not to worry as his bonus this year is in millions. Though the houses mopped up most of what we had to spare. You’ve seen the CH4 programme about the London house? I thought the production company would pay us some money but they don’t these days and they make you look a bit of an idiot with the editing. I came across as a bit of a blonde airhead and my friends know it’s not true. Must phone Lisa and see if she’s still researching her company’s competitors’ websites this week. Very dull, she’s a bit down about it. Wish could give her some of my cast offs, still pretty new, but she’s not a size 6. On second thoughts we don’t wear the same style. Mine has to be sort of Victoria Beckham, that’s what Louis likes (he would probably like me to have one more son, though thank god ours don’t have stupid names). Lisa thinks that’s trashy and overpriced for adding a few studs and sequins to tops, mini skirts, jeans and boots and shoes and handbags. She thinks anyone who wears D&G or Cavalli is a frustrated and talentless rockstar and well, she’s got it right there with Vicks Beckham. Lisa is more of a Bluemarine /Chanel/Valentino/Marc Jacobs type but she can’t afford them, though she does well with thrift store bargains. Anyway, best get back to some sketching though it’s nearly time for my hair appointment. Hope she’s not late, we have guests for dinner.