7 September - craigslist

Craigslist - don’t ask. Everyone has to have an outlet. I hate chatrooms - never been in one and I hate instant messaging, but I like reading the postings on this site, just to remember what it’s like whether you’re in love or not. I laugh at the bad spelling in the not so incoherent messages. Basically everyone wants pussy. That’s the gist of it. I don’t think they necessarily expect to get it but the basic asking openly, though anonymously, is the outlet. The amount of men who are ‘happily married/in a relationship but you know, I’d like some NSA with a woman that turns up a few afternoons a week and lets me fuck her’ is astounding. Yes sure, and I’d like someone to whisk me off to the Bahamas and gift me a yacht. Go find a professional! I say. I know she costs money, but in what universe do they hope to find this great bargain/deal, the something for NOTHING fuck? Men.. I tell you. Stupido. The women are not much better unfortunately. True to cliche' they are looking for a sugar daddy or a sugar toyboy.
Am sure some postings are in fact by 15 year olds just expressing themselves, were you to arrange a meeting they’d die. Or guys who never have the chance to talk like this to a real woman. I once arranged a meeting with someone who was not that attractive. Deliberately. I had been talking to a gay friend and envying their ability to disconnect the penis from his owner, ie if the penis is ‘right’ never mind if the guy is the hunchback of Notre Dame. I told my mystery date he could do anything he wanted. You’ve never seen anyone lose their e rection so fast. Basically the fantasy was too much as a real/up for it woman in his hotel room. Actually this happened another time with someone else and a third time the man sort of recouped/performed but was clearly not able to go on another time. Again… it was too real. They should stick to the hotel porn channel. I imagine that guy is still banging his head on the wall at the missed opportunity... there she was, she said you can do anything you want. Magic.
Actually I’ve made all of this up. No I haven’t. Yes I have.
Anyway, as I was reading on on Craigslist, two that caught my attention were one looking to worship someone’s perfectly formed and groomed feet and another who had a terrific picture of himself wearing/not wearing fatigues and wanting some serious can ing. Unfortunately, though my feet are groomed, they’ll be far from making anyone swoon (age is beginning to nicely deform them and there’s nothing I can do) and in the second scenario, I am unfortunately not a man and thus able to cane this guy by remaining fully clothed but having my p enis pulled out through the zip of my trousers (his specific request). Needless to say I really wanted to reply to these guys thus proving a quantum theory of how my head operates. Even in the casuals I was looking for the unavailable/unable to commit guy!!! Can you believe it. A plethora of ads/requests/offers and I focus on the two guys who don’t want me. Though to be honest, the feet guy am sure doesn’t receive that many replies (not any that don’t ask for payment I guess) and so if I turned up, would he not go through with it? Must ask if he appreciates shoes as well as the feet. As for my reasons, it’s because I know I like my feet sucked, my arch played with but it’s almost a long forgotten art and no one does it. Guess back in the last century or something when you didn’t have much access to other parts of the anatomy, the foot was a little metaphor to show a lady what you could do to her but now... the race is usually on, who wants to slow down for that.
I was also tempted to reply to a 57 year old ex gynaecologist (do I believe this? Perhaps. It would be easy to establish) who promised to just get to your G spot manually and not require any reciprocation. Figured for once would be nice not to have to do anything at all. Am not that submissive though, hence the caning. The guy looked like he could take it and if he takes it from a man usually (heavier stroke I presume) I could really let go. There was also a bored novelist from my part of London. I nearly replied to say ‘Cal, is that you?’ (an ex Professor) but he wanted afternoon sessions so no can do. Probably also married. I never tell my married girlfriends about these ads. They’d be horrified and probably start recognising their husbands and well, I’d do it very much like in the movies/Tv films. Turn up at work or home etc at odd times. Never let them know they can count on your routine absence. ‘Honey where’s Junior, didn’t you pick him up from school?’ ‘Oh no, just thought I’d surprise you darling’ etc. I’m not of the ‘I don’t want to know’ school. And also of the ‘you don’t marry who you can live with but the one you cannot live without’ school.