8 September - Classical & Willowy

A 40th birthday party is looming. T says his friend P is coming with her friend KSJ. I forgot the two are know each other. The name sends me back to early 80’s. A man I was seeing then was seeing many, many women – ok he wasn’t a drummer but he was in a band, what was he supposed to do he says? He was very handsome and the singer had found his true love calling pretty early on so Mr Keyboards got lots of the spoils. When he got married in the late 80’s, I gave him a green shirt, replica of a green shirt he constantly wore for a year or two when I knew him intimately. As this coincided with some world tours of his, I figured the original green shirt was falling apart from wear and tear and to remind him that now the green shirt days were over. I sort of did know that for every town he visited, he’d have sampled the locals, he had a prodigious appetite which he always managed to satisfy. But despite all this, he lusted after this KSJ who presumably spurned his advances, probably, because he’d slept with one other of her trio of classical musicians and broke that girl’s heart. Of course he was rock/pop and he hankered after the refinement of a chick who played the oboe. I remember hating her for this. Tall, willowy blonde to my not tall and not willowy and not blonde, well not then anyway, I favoured a different hair dye. Over the years I think KSJ has had her fair share of troubles and I haven’t cared about that man either (in fact, I chose a rather more faithful and truer boy than him at the time) and I forgot. But I wonder how I’ll feel when I see her. Still blonde and willowy it shows on her website.

In fact, that man, DB (sadly not David Bowie folks) and I fell out a few years back after successfully maintaining a sort of lapsed friendship for years. It was the fault of the Alpha course or something similar, Landmark? He went on one and ended up confessing to years of cocaine abuse and sex addiction. Of course he had to apologise to people hurt by this. His wife was first in line. So he told her about countless affairs and one offs but … out of this long list, the only ‘real’ people to her were an old g/friend of his now ill with cancer so hardly the butt of her anger and little moi. Let’s just say that I knew him years before her and during their marriage I’d probably only slept with him once a year if I wasn’t otherwise ensconced with my own lovers. It was always for old time’s sake and during some conference in some other city but a couple of times when she and the kids where away on holiday it was in her house. So yes, I did have breakfast at her table and slept in her marital bed. It is as we all know, vomit inducing to think of this kind of defacing. I did tell her that truly had done her a huge favour as these outings of his were probably safer than wooing some young pretty thing at his office and ending up with a real lover who wrecks your marriage. But …. She deemed my apology too scant and I refused to go meet them for some gross shame and apology fest that they had planned. And I also flatly refused to attend some Alpha course myself. I don’t have addictions so twelve step type programmes are not for me. He wrote me a letter saying he had to promise his wife never to see me again. I didn’t argue and he’s not missed. I just occasionally wonder if they ever built the swimming pool on the grounds of their very, very big house in the country or if his confessions were really honest ones. But I met a friend of his recently or someone I thought was a friend but who wasted no time in telling me he despised the man as he is still an incredibly arrogant selfish guy and how the moment he dumped his confessions he felt very relieved and poised to start a new life, irrespective of the hurt he caused in unburdening himself. Ah well. C’est la vie. I don’t actually believe his philandering days are truly over either. Darn, I’ll never know.