3 November - Funerals & MTV

Modern etiquette. How does it work at funerals. And before anyone is offended this post is not going to cover how the death of a friend upset me, it’s a take on other stuff. So discovered that W. the ex is ‘doing’ the music at M’s funeral and wake! Darn! how am i going to avoid him at a funeral? May have to grow up and speak to him and bury my silly little hatchet which is not a hatchet cause truly he's one of the most decent persons you'll ever meet, but since our parting of the ways a few years back, I’ve cut all contact (works better this way if you do it from day one. No chance of hanging on for either of you. Plus I was mega annoyed. One day am in LA getting lovey dovey emails from him, the next day am home from the airport and he’s having ‘the conversation’ just when I was about to catch another flight on same evening, back in the days when it was all go go go. I was very surprised (back in the days when I didn’t much notice stuff, now I err on the other side, though have always been good at avoiding the ‘what are you thinking’ question) but the measure of my love cup must have been on the low side as I remember uttering the immortal words (well, in my own folklore) “But W!!!! why didn’t you tell me when I was in LA??? Would have stayed out there!!!!”. Followed by the usual “Get out, get out, leave me alone” type utterances. He was trying to be considerate of course and had not wanted to do dumping by email or phone or text. Admirable. Thing was… I was between jobs and Malibu and LA were fab and my local friend had indeed suggested staying out there much longer. But I had said no, must go back to W! Of course nothing but cash stopping me from going back to drown my shortlived sorrows, but I didn’t. Hence W. has to pay for altering my destiny – for which am grateful in retrospect – with the punishment of my silence. Am sure he now considers it a blessing.

Later that evening… I realised that a funeral service and wake is a sombre celebration but still operates in a similar fashion to any party. So it was perfectly easy not to engage in conversation with the ex at crematorium and drinks in a nearby club. I did consider it but as he was wearing a flamboyant suit that I had hated when we were together, the decision was made. Only other thing of note (I won’t go into what reflections the death of a not even as old as me person inspires) was that several of the mourners had arrived fresh from the MTV awards in Denmark the night before. They probably had more reflections than mine on the subject of here today, gone tomorrow. Apart from the fact that noone was terribly young and unless you are, hanging backstage with hissy fits artists is not that magic. But if you were young, it’s FANTASTIC. M would have been there and having a blast, criticising sets, routines, lighting, costumes and … everything. But in her own unique funny northern way. ‘Oh get on with it!’