17 January - Jagger

A friend of a friend, JC, is in town from LA. I like her, she’s down to earth Scot but has lived over there long enough to know that the following is bizarre. She tells me that when she recently moved from NY to LA, her dog did not take to its new home and was scratching himself raw amongst other things. So, as we’re in LA, he’s having acupuncture for anxiety. We can laugh, but she says you try everything when your pet is unhappy and a pet is your child when you have none of those.

We talk about other stuff and reminisce about times with Jagger who she worked for for ages. He’s very generous despite what people think and she won’t hear a word against him. A couple of assistants later I got called to meet him for a job. My interview with him was slightly surreal. I was left to wait for him in the part of the house occupied by Jerry. A traditionally furnished huge drawing room in which a Warholesque painting of Jerry dominated the walls. I kept thinking that nicking an ashtray and getting found out would not be a great start to our relationships so I resisted the temptation. At some point I needed to use the loo and was shown downstairs. As I closed the door to pee, I was faced with a collage of photos of wife and kids and other family and friends staring at me. Later, I crossed the door to his part of the house, all modern white and Perspex and Apple Macs. He draped himself across a chair, happily chatting, whilst I was trying to steady my heart from thumping ‘I’m here with Mick!’. It was all going v. well (by this point I had already passed previous interviews) with other entourage) till he left me for 15 mins in the company of the woman who run his film production company in the US. She didn’t take to me, funny how you can tell in a quick beat, and that was that. I didn’t get the job. Forget the name of stupid bitch. One of those little junctions where life could have gone elsewhere. After all JC met her husband in the US whilst there on Jagger business/movie. I told myself it was ok, I wouldn’t have to deal with tantrums. Apparently he’s easy, (JC says he has a sense of humour, down to pointing out that he says things like ‘Look I’m combing my own hair now am back from touring!’) it’s the kids that would drive you nuts with requests. After she goes, I have a long discussion with Toph re wrinkly bits. I don’t even like Jagger’s ones. Am happy he’s refusing to go Robert Redford on us and get a lift but I really can’t stand so many lines. Toph chooses this time to reveal he’s been turned down by Annie Lennox once as deemed too old – hang on a moment, she’s older than him but I can see her point. Or maybe it was just a polite way to say not interested. He went to an art gallery with her once and some friends of hers and found he did not know what to say to her. I mean, he doesn’t like her songs so that’s pretty much a non starter.

Reminds me of the only time I tried to sing (never even done karaoke me) and rehearsed Eurythimics’ ‘I need a man’ for sashaying on top of counter at bar Italia which was screened out that night for my private party. It was quite something to have Chris Sullivan & Co. or whoever that was wanting to come in and Kerry at the door saying ‘No it’s a private party’ and turning them away. She was jumping up and down with happiness, had been wanting to say that for ages. We usually didn’t have much of a problem getting into everywhere but probably had to put in a little time in the queue rather than be whisked straight past the rope. Can't remember who the dj was... I think it was 15 years ago but it could be more in the past than that. Btw, even after all the rehearsals, I bottled my singing debut. Just couldn’t remember the lyrics, there’s a bit of a fast little rap in the middle. Too much of a tongue twister.