24 March - Mayfair Hotel & Avril
To the Mayfair hotel to have a look at the recent refurbishment. Not been there since Luther Vandross tried it on. Ok maybe I’m imagining it, considering the sexual orientation. Oh, I can’t remember if was straight or gay or just fat and thin. When I die I want to come back and live on the top floor with the terrace and some nights of the week I want to go down and stay in the Schiaparelli suite. I’m with some mid-twenties female colleagues.
In the car to the hotel, the radio is tuned to dreadful stuff and I’m about to ask the driver to switch it off when J. who’s singing along as well as talking on (this girl can talk) asks him ‘Is this Heart FM?’ He confirms ‘Heart FM play all my favourite tunes’ she thrills. I am appalled. Who are these old people masquerading as young ones? Then again she said that she had to ring the suicidal line when Take That broke up and they were obviously cutting edge for her… mum and dads music. She’s a lost cause. Later on at dinner she’s being teased because on a recent trip to Tokyo she hated all the food ‘I’m a steak and chips gal’ she proudly announces. Ok, sea urchin may not be to everyone’s taste but the closure to different food and it follows culture is surprising in a young person. Am this close to asking her if she likes going on holiday to Benidorm, but she probably goes to Ibiza in chavtastic outfits. I better shut up.
The hotel doesn’t interest me as much as L’s current step dad who she tells us is the army training officer to Prince Harry in Afghanistan (her mum is on third marriage. She’s only 44 crikey that’s close to me. Scary, L. could be my daughter, all professional 5’10’ of her and Blackberry at the ready). He works 6 months with no return trip. Will be back in June and then October back to Afghanistan. Barrel of laughs this job must be. Out there they can’t drink. Wish I could ask if it pays well at least but I ask another stupid question instead, how are they going to keep Prince Harry out of trouble? Surely he wants to see some action. She’s adamant he’ll never see. They have ways to keep him out of harm’s way. But wouldn’t a self immolating bomber just aim straight for him? Then again no one ever got to Condoleeza and other visiting heads of state in any war so uhm, maybe there are mysterious ways. Any army person reading this, pls enligthen me.
As we’re discussing how to obtain invites for the Puff Daddy and Snoop party and discover it may be difficult considering 55 extra security guys are being drafted in to keep people like us out, Avril Lavigne walks through the bar with a tall, lanky bloke in white trousers. This form of 80’s thing is back. It’s winter still, please don’t wear white trousers away from yacht moorings, that’s what I say. I’d have got up for Madonna but not for Avril so I sip my cocktail whilst the 20 something go make their feelings of adoration known. Though am worried about A. who calls her ‘Avril Latrine’.
Later, I had to go on a website as truly could not remember what she sings etc (still don’t) and so found that she said a propos her wedding that she wanted a white one /traditional and with all the trimmings because she didn’t want to look back to herself 20 years from now and see herself wearing some goth and punky outfit and think o g god why did I wear that? The girl is 22. Sue Catwoman or Siouxsie /Banshee or Ari Up would have never made the distinction between who they were on stage and who they were in life. There was some integrity. Heck, that Siouxsie probably still wears too much funny eyeliner in her farmhouse in France (like Chrissie ‘I will never change my trademark make up till I die and I don’t care if it’s hopelessly out of fashion’ Hyde. But a comment like that would point out to me that for all their posturing these kids are not 4 real (as Richie Manic was to carve on his harm, poor creature). Hence, I would have smacked Avril one if had read this before meeting her
In the car to the hotel, the radio is tuned to dreadful stuff and I’m about to ask the driver to switch it off when J. who’s singing along as well as talking on (this girl can talk) asks him ‘Is this Heart FM?’ He confirms ‘Heart FM play all my favourite tunes’ she thrills. I am appalled. Who are these old people masquerading as young ones? Then again she said that she had to ring the suicidal line when Take That broke up and they were obviously cutting edge for her… mum and dads music. She’s a lost cause. Later on at dinner she’s being teased because on a recent trip to Tokyo she hated all the food ‘I’m a steak and chips gal’ she proudly announces. Ok, sea urchin may not be to everyone’s taste but the closure to different food and it follows culture is surprising in a young person. Am this close to asking her if she likes going on holiday to Benidorm, but she probably goes to Ibiza in chavtastic outfits. I better shut up.
The hotel doesn’t interest me as much as L’s current step dad who she tells us is the army training officer to Prince Harry in Afghanistan (her mum is on third marriage. She’s only 44 crikey that’s close to me. Scary, L. could be my daughter, all professional 5’10’ of her and Blackberry at the ready). He works 6 months with no return trip. Will be back in June and then October back to Afghanistan. Barrel of laughs this job must be. Out there they can’t drink. Wish I could ask if it pays well at least but I ask another stupid question instead, how are they going to keep Prince Harry out of trouble? Surely he wants to see some action. She’s adamant he’ll never see. They have ways to keep him out of harm’s way. But wouldn’t a self immolating bomber just aim straight for him? Then again no one ever got to Condoleeza and other visiting heads of state in any war so uhm, maybe there are mysterious ways. Any army person reading this, pls enligthen me.
As we’re discussing how to obtain invites for the Puff Daddy and Snoop party and discover it may be difficult considering 55 extra security guys are being drafted in to keep people like us out, Avril Lavigne walks through the bar with a tall, lanky bloke in white trousers. This form of 80’s thing is back. It’s winter still, please don’t wear white trousers away from yacht moorings, that’s what I say. I’d have got up for Madonna but not for Avril so I sip my cocktail whilst the 20 something go make their feelings of adoration known. Though am worried about A. who calls her ‘Avril Latrine’.
Later, I had to go on a website as truly could not remember what she sings etc (still don’t) and so found that she said a propos her wedding that she wanted a white one /traditional and with all the trimmings because she didn’t want to look back to herself 20 years from now and see herself wearing some goth and punky outfit and think o g god why did I wear that? The girl is 22. Sue Catwoman or Siouxsie /Banshee or Ari Up would have never made the distinction between who they were on stage and who they were in life. There was some integrity. Heck, that Siouxsie probably still wears too much funny eyeliner in her farmhouse in France (like Chrissie ‘I will never change my trademark make up till I die and I don’t care if it’s hopelessly out of fashion’ Hyde. But a comment like that would point out to me that for all their posturing these kids are not 4 real (as Richie Manic was to carve on his harm, poor creature). Hence, I would have smacked Avril one if had read this before meeting her
Labels: Music
posted by Lisa Taylor @ 8:56 AM
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