12 March - Sizes & Bigger Sizes
New woman joins us temporarily at work. So we have a Philadelphia (cheese) moment talking about her impending wedding in August. And looking at the engagement ring. Bit small and insignificant if you ask me but she says she wanted something unflashy. Oh dear, I must be up there with Puff Daddy on the subject of bling. Never mind. Only earlier another colleague asked me a propos one who was standing next to her ‘How much weight do you think D could lose?’
The look of horror on my face as having to be put on the spot like this meant she elaborates ‘D says she wants to lose 20kg, it’s too much surely, how much is that in pounds anyway?’ Whilst I register all this and think that 15kg she could easily shed from her tall frame, I say, as ever, and this is a good trick, that I prefer to talk sizes, so I say ‘Er D, what size are you? A 12? (I always make it one size smaller than they are anyway, which is also a good solution to not getting them to hate you forever). There is a brief smile and D says ‘No, a 14 creeping up to 16’.
So, kindly, as if speaking to a patient I say ‘But you were not always a 14 right, what were you last year?’ - didn’t know her then but it’s also always a good ploy. She answers she’d gone down to a 10 for her wedding last Sept. ‘There you go,’ I soothe, ‘that’s 2 sizes to go, but you could aim for one less, just set a goal of size 12, that’s not too difficult to achieve, you eat well and you exercise, so I can only assume it’s the booze? Do you drink with every meal…?
She says not much (dead giveaway that she does), but that when she does, when she’s out, she really goes for it. Yes, can vouch for that, the few times we've been out together after work. Yes, damage done, I think smugly as I definitely don’t do that and feel sick just looking at women downing pints of beer or wine. Nobody ever seems to correlate the contents to a bag of sugar. Thankfully someone else who wants something ‘now’ comes to interrupt this potentially ruinous exchange and when he’s gone, we don’t resume the conversation. Phew!
As the resident size 8 (one of 3 similarly built vs. 5 x size 14 to 16 and an 18 around me, I feel the pressure. If I had a fiver for each time someone says ‘but you’re so skinny!’ or a fiver for each time I refrain from saying ‘Yes, believe me it’s hard not to eat pains of chocolat each day, followed by a bap sandwich and crisps and cola, but you know the two are correlated to getting to your size! Oh and by the way, if you never exercise, forget it’ I’d be rich. Thing is, even the v. happy, v. sorted, v. regular shagged by boyfriend size 18, brings out her old photo from 2 years ago when she was a stone lighter and begs me to look at how she was… I mumble something about ‘You’re just not happy here, go on holiday, change job, it will all fall off you’.
I don’t know… me, something I don’t like, I try to change it. Can’t be that difficult? Or rather, I know that it is folks, but allow me to occasionally rant as it's frikkin' hard work staying PC around so many people with weight issues. And if this pisses you off, let me make it even worse by saying 'Don't go into Topshop and moan you can't find anything if you're a size 14, stick to other shops, they do exist'. I was called 'large' once in a shop in Tokyo and couldn't find a skirt that fitted in Thailand so I realise the frustration, but it's not their fault.
The look of horror on my face as having to be put on the spot like this meant she elaborates ‘D says she wants to lose 20kg, it’s too much surely, how much is that in pounds anyway?’ Whilst I register all this and think that 15kg she could easily shed from her tall frame, I say, as ever, and this is a good trick, that I prefer to talk sizes, so I say ‘Er D, what size are you? A 12? (I always make it one size smaller than they are anyway, which is also a good solution to not getting them to hate you forever). There is a brief smile and D says ‘No, a 14 creeping up to 16’.
So, kindly, as if speaking to a patient I say ‘But you were not always a 14 right, what were you last year?’ - didn’t know her then but it’s also always a good ploy. She answers she’d gone down to a 10 for her wedding last Sept. ‘There you go,’ I soothe, ‘that’s 2 sizes to go, but you could aim for one less, just set a goal of size 12, that’s not too difficult to achieve, you eat well and you exercise, so I can only assume it’s the booze? Do you drink with every meal…?
She says not much (dead giveaway that she does), but that when she does, when she’s out, she really goes for it. Yes, can vouch for that, the few times we've been out together after work. Yes, damage done, I think smugly as I definitely don’t do that and feel sick just looking at women downing pints of beer or wine. Nobody ever seems to correlate the contents to a bag of sugar. Thankfully someone else who wants something ‘now’ comes to interrupt this potentially ruinous exchange and when he’s gone, we don’t resume the conversation. Phew!
As the resident size 8 (one of 3 similarly built vs. 5 x size 14 to 16 and an 18 around me, I feel the pressure. If I had a fiver for each time someone says ‘but you’re so skinny!’ or a fiver for each time I refrain from saying ‘Yes, believe me it’s hard not to eat pains of chocolat each day, followed by a bap sandwich and crisps and cola, but you know the two are correlated to getting to your size! Oh and by the way, if you never exercise, forget it’ I’d be rich. Thing is, even the v. happy, v. sorted, v. regular shagged by boyfriend size 18, brings out her old photo from 2 years ago when she was a stone lighter and begs me to look at how she was… I mumble something about ‘You’re just not happy here, go on holiday, change job, it will all fall off you’.
I don’t know… me, something I don’t like, I try to change it. Can’t be that difficult? Or rather, I know that it is folks, but allow me to occasionally rant as it's frikkin' hard work staying PC around so many people with weight issues. And if this pisses you off, let me make it even worse by saying 'Don't go into Topshop and moan you can't find anything if you're a size 14, stick to other shops, they do exist'. I was called 'large' once in a shop in Tokyo and couldn't find a skirt that fitted in Thailand so I realise the frustration, but it's not their fault.
posted by Lisa Taylor @ 5:33 AM
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