20 December - Cuban Ballerina & Mahiki

I’m sure it would be different if I were AA Gill, but to be fair to the Wolsley, I eat there 2 or 3 times a year so they don’t have to bend backwards to please me. They say they cannot do a table for 7, their maximum is 6, and that’s what I booked a month ago but now the composition of my party has changed. We’re either 5 or 7. Darn, so we say to the late duo addition that we can’t have them and they make plans accordingly. Toph and J are not bothered as S. was going to bring his Cuban ballerina girlfriend along (whom we’ve never met) and we’re not expecting much from a dancer.

When we eventually meet her, the boys are entranced. What had not been made clear to us was that she’s not a Cuban girl who dances and who he may have met in a bar (yes shame on us/me for my patronising attitude and yes I now that in Cuba they have excellent educations) but she is in fact a principal with the Cuban Ballet, you now, the one funded by …… er, that woman, and the one where V. has been dancing with Carlos Acosta, here at Sadlers Wells a few months ago. Darn I knew I should have gone…. The proud S gets us to watch some films of her dancing Swan Lake or Giselle and doing extraordinary things with the 32 fouettes and of course we’re now sorry they’re not coming for dinner. She’s more interesting than me that’s for sure, daughter of an ambassador and so on, constantly dealing with dance defections and not really getting paid a western salary for her commitment.

So it’s infuriating when just outside the house, I get a text from D. who is crying off the evening cause she’s at home ordering pizza with her sons. I have a bad exchange on the phone with her (though I’ll have to forgive her of course) and our little party of 4 (the fourth is gay M.) still has a nice conversation and then we go to Mahiki just because we’ve never been and we need to see what all the tacky fuss is all about. More of that later.

The moment we sit down at the Wolsley Toph tells us that 5 mins before we’d arrived at S.'s house (Toph was already there and Cuban ballerina was out getting chocolate or something) S. had told him he’s expecting a child from an editor in NY (where he lives) who he’s had a one off with. Well, I don’t believe in one offs but if that’s what he says… But ballerina doesn’t know yet. It suddenly seems awful to know all that display of love and affection and mutual admiration is parallel to ... this. (for all I know she may have a scene with one of her co stars so you know, I don’t know her) but uh ho… All I can say is that S. is sort of a drama king and he’s upper class so perhaps these things are easily accepted in his milieu? ‘Hi Honey, you know how much I love you??? But am having a kid with someone else, would that be ok?’ Call me old fashioned.

But back to Mahiki. They let us in probably because it’s early and there isn’t much business over the holidays, after all, all the little toffs must be off to Barbados or Mustique with their parents. And Wills and Henry in Scotland perhaps. The boys are pretending they’re only coming in because I insist but two hours later I have to force them to leave. The music is as shite as predicted (think wedding with birthday party) and the people are frankly disappointing – maybe they’ve also been let in because it’s quiet, b'day groups young asians, eurotrash or lookalikes, generally young, a few couples, skanky girls – and that includes several working girls (thais? korans?) who are very much trying to get some business and don't spot that M. is the gayest man in the village. But still it’s fun for a short time. So, been there, done that and you don’t need to be tempted. And Ps the Wolsley was disappointing this time, the food seemed very unispired, or maybe we should have drunk more expensive wine.