Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

22 November - Blogs Bleed

I read the other day that if you don't blog everyday, readers turn off. This blog doesn't have many readers and never went far in self promoting so I trust nobody is turning off in droves as they were never there in the first place. But who are the people who have time to read blogs really? Even now I still keep press cuttings when there's an article that rounds up a few and tells me they're good to read but I don't seem to have time to do so.

At some point I had an easy job and time to read at work. I now have the same job but no time to read at work or write. Won't bore you with the explanation but it's almost like having to deal with a time consuming sleepless child, albeit 9 to 5 only or 9 to 6 but it makes my mind go blank. It may also be a combination of hormonal changes due to age or body dealing with recent surgery but the time I could write at home in the evenings, I seem to have other things to do. Like going out etc. That used to provide a good source of reflections but now they just take place in my head only. So this blog is sort of bleedig to death right now, which is sad for me but since have also taken to replying to girlfriends' emails with 'Can't write now, too busy' , you get the picture.

This means also that I'm angry all the time about ... lack of time or being surrounded by crap at home due to builders not yet having completed my 'outbuildings' where all the crap can be safely stored away from view. A messy environment makes for a messy mind probably. I think I must also be angry when I sleep as I wake up tired too or just not wanting to go into work. Why does anyone have to work for so many years, why can't there be a 3 month on, 3 months off sort of arrangement? Yet when I was convalescing for a month I frittered the time away too. Well 2 out of the 4 weeks were truly 'off sick' so tiredness was body healing itself probably so I can't beat myself much about that.

On a recent session with the physiotherapist we were talking about travel costs. He said that with two kids to pay for at adult prices when it comes to flights etc. his days of roaming across the world are over so his advice was do all your travelling before you have kids. I would go even further and say do all your travels, all your creative stuff before you turn 40 as after that you're simply not in possession of enough energy or get up and go to do it. A funny thing about the physio. He's dealing with my feet, which I present to him clean from that morning shower but fresh not as they come out of flat furry boots, which am obliged to wear for now. He manipulates my feet and absentmindedly touches his face, nose, cheeks etc very often. And I think yeww, that's my feet. I have also noticed that he has so many clients that the moment one exits his room, he welcomes the next in, me or the one after me. I never see him going to wash his hands and he has nothing in the room to do so, those gels that work w/o water. So er... if he were manipulating some fat guy's groin before seeing me, that's what I'd get on my feet. Twice now have run into an erstwhile minor celeb on my way in or out. But she may not mind ever if she knew as she was on of those nobodys who have spent time in a 'celeb' jungle and so may have eaten spiders, and lain with serpents for all I know. Though I think slithery animals are sort of clean by definition?


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