Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

16 September - Memory & Dyslexias

Well, I haven't forgotten I have a blog though one day I fully expect to wonder about that too. But.. despite filling in drafts of various things concerning me, there's an element of stress in my life that coincides with work related issues and health stuff and, well, another leak in the new house which is still not sorted to my liking and it makes it just too tiring to muster the energy to write something that's not down/dour/skeptic etc.
Right now I seem to be quietly worried about my short memory just not throwing up names of things/people and also mixing them up. Examples are along the lines of wanting to say 'Please move that chair out of my way' and the sentence that comes out is 'Please move that table out of my way, I mean the chair' . This means my brain is instantly aware that it's used the wrong word but ... what if it then doesn't? Other examples are telling someone at work 'John now can't come to the meeting in Paris' and person replies 'John?' and only then I realise I meant say 'Christian'. And so on.

Today I nearly got annoyed with some guy at jessops because, after jabbing my finger at the machine for half an hour in order to print pictures from sicilian holiday and the receipt telling me to pay £20 odd, I went in search of employee who in answer to my 'how much are your prints if you print more than 100, it used to be 7p?', said, 'yes, it's 7pm but you chose the larger format so it's 14p each'. I said no, I chose the smaller format, 5" by 7". He looks at me and says no, the smaller format is 4" by 6". And I still didn't get it. To me 4" by 6" was larger than 5" by 7". This was simpy a numbers dyslexia in my mind. Thank god I didn't get too annoyed and he sweetly said I'llc charge you at the smaller format charge and still give you the larger format prints and I nearly replied but I don't want/like 6" x 4"!. But can see now clearly when old people say resolutely one thing and no arguing will persuade them they got it wrong. But am not old enough for all of this to happen now. Hence the .. getting worried.

Or maybe it's my gum infection and the ... the... I was about to write antidepressants but that's not it, don't take them and it's the wrong word! What I want to say is the.. the.. (30 seconds later i still don't have the word... the , you know those things they give you to fight infections and you can't drink alcohol whilst on the course. What the fuck are they called. This is driving me insane, forgetting everyday words, it's just not on.

Left this for a few minutes and the word has not come to me yet. It may be an hour before it appears. If there's someone like Toph around I can ask him but you can't go asking colleagues 'what do you call that thing, that thing , you know' or you sound demented.

This is now ten mins later and the word still hadn't come so I broke down and asked a colleague. And the answer is... antibiotics. Obviously. She very sweetly said it's not age but speaking several languages. Mmmmh, I do but it's not that. And I can't blame too many drugs 'cause I hardly did.



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