Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Thursday, August 19, 2010

18 August - Dating & Mating

By some route found myself on Indians abroad website. Fascinating. Lots of advice re. finding a wife/husband and tons of ads. The mind boggles if I had to search these sites for wltm. But more to the point how do you keep track of all this info if you have dual heritage? It's bad enough to be from UK trying to find UK husband. But you're from UK but brought up in Indian traditions and trying to find Indian husband brought up always over there, how much do you really have in common aside from mother's cooking?

On another note went to meet the kind of ex colleague I meet 2 or 3 times a year, sometimes only 1. Meaning I don't know much about their inner life despite having once been in their work proximity for months or ears. So, stone me, when I hear that this (in my mind) confirmed bachelorette of 49 who holidays with 70 something mother had had a relationship drama. She commutes in from 90 mins away (how people move themselves to small towns to buy a house and then have to live alone, spend hours on trains, spend tons on trains and parking for car at statione etc, I'll never know. On said commute she met train friend, let's call him John, a banker at Jp Morgan, who had first been based in london ,then abu dhabi then Brussels. The friendship was chaste on her side though she liked him and had escalated though to coffee at some other station till the day he stole a kiss and threw her in turmoil since the reason why she'd been single all the time I knew her, was to safeguard heart from being trampled on. Maybe some cutting old experience. So what to do? The heart as we know grows back and she was plunged into desire and hopefulness. Till one of her pretty innocent texts (but they never are) was read by his wife on surprise visit to Brussels. Ah yes, the wife. There was one. Since then he's written to say best to go quiet for a while and has gone totally silent. So far so good. I argued that unless you're a serial well versed cad in which case you can come up with fast and furious excuses for anything (Don Draper anyone?) and are instead the kind who finally got drawn into acting on fancying someone other than the wife, when this happens you get totally scared out of your wits at the thought of losing the house/the kids etc so of course you cut contact.

But would you believe it, my friend/acquaintance has been sick over this for months and is on anti depressants! For a non consumed or hardly consumed non-relationship! I've always thought you have to stay available to the knocks of relationships because if you hide from them, a simple story book one can come bite you on the ass this badly at 49! I had to make an effort not to laugh which is so wrong as I do care for her and I know how real that pain is even if to me hearing the story it sounds like an over-reaction. That man would be horrified if he knew he unleashed this much grief. As far as he's concerned he was only toying with her. Ok, nobody needs my advice but don't you go talking to strangers on trains, it ends in tears.

Baaria and more proms.


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