12 September - Daddy Cool & Blondie

I’m sat at home doing nothing much so have TV on some music channel, until Youtube.com loads up all the videos ever made and you can just access what you want. Boney M is on with 'Daddy Cool'. And Boney is very boney or maybe he meant to refer to having a massive boner for his small frame. Am trying to see what I can see through tight trousers. Back then I don’t think I had any idea of what actually resided there. I seem to remember dancing at Sunday afternoon post religious class hour to Joe Texx, totally unaware of any sexual connotations to 'I Gotcha' or whatever his hit was called. So, interrupting my reading (can never just be doing one thing at a time), I’m alerted to the lyrics ‘She’s crazy like a fool/Bye bye Daddy Cool’ and ‘I’m crazy like a fool/bye bye Daddy Cool’. I wait for more to develop some kind of story that must be told in the song but no, that’s it, sum total of text. Must have listened to this a zillion times as a kiddie and never noticed the no substance. Compared to this rap and Eminem are practically Shakespeare. I shall never have him/them (my fave is still Kanye West) maligned again. A little later in the sequence come S Express and their only hit which basically says ‘I’ve got the hots for you/boo boo be boop boo’ ad nauseam. Then comes Blondie who’s not much more fulfilling with her ‘Call me’ lyrics. Try as I may I cannot recall the exact times these tunes came out. Were they an antidote to something? Was that Thatcher or John Major time? You could argue that much of dance music was even more inane than that or had no lyrics and the primary function of music is possibly to make us move our sorry little asses. Now I read there’s a musical inspired by the music of Boney M. What a gruesome prospect. Maybe I’ve missed something of this chap’s life, maybe his mere presence on TOTP was incendiary? I mean, his two sidekick women looked less possessed but still hornier than the Pan people?