15 September - Sperm U Like

I seem to have omitted tales of Toph’s return which was glorious and much anticipated, though missing on a few cinematic opportunities. Male readers, I’ll give you an example. He was on the stoop at 9am having been disgorged by plane and taxi and discussing some communal building items with a neighbour who was just going out then. As I approached, having just parked his car, he smiled and put his arm round my waist and said 'Hello babes', but basically carried on the boring conversation with neighbour (about garden plants and pots and front path if you have to ask, they might have moved on to communal bills too and drains, but I zoned out in disbelief) till that one was wrapped up. I counted the seconds of course and was considering how in the movie in my head he’d have dropped suitcase, shoulder bag etc, done a “talk to the hand gesture” to the neighbour, whilst he scooped me up as I flung myself into his arms, and kissed me for the longest time in full view of passers by, garbage men and jealous (at this point) neighbour. I guess he’s too polite for that. Lucky for him it was bed for the rest of the day and I forgave him the initial lapse. I should add I was armed with delicious food so as not to need to go out at all till following day, and …tropical fruits and flowers to help him ease the transition back into the UK. Guys, it really is simple to make the ladies happy, just ask yourself ‘What would Brad do for Angelina right at this moment???’ and you can’t go wrong. And you do want to be the one who keeps Angelina happy, right? But as I said, I’m a forgiving soul and the proof is in the …. (ok if you’re squeamish or easily grossed out don’t read further), that this girl knows all is alright if the ‘sperm you like’ test is passed. It may sound mad but… I don’t actually believe sperm tastes that different according to what foods were ingested etc. I mean, who conducts these tests? I would hope it’s the same woman with her man rather than a bunch of strangers exchanging fluids in a test tube? Anyway, I think it’s a mood thing. If am pissed off with ‘him’ somehow, I don’t want any of that near my mouth...it assumes the allure of phlegm. If instead I am totally into him, I just can’t get enough and it tastes sweet. Toph’s did/does, couldn’t get enough of it. Wonder if it’s the same when they get down on us? Clearly it was ‘juice you like’ for him too, I should add. Ok, better stop there. A friend of his who reads this blog said had no desire to be confronted with more info than can cope with.