13 November - Pregnant 16 & 46

The young girl my friend Leah was fostering, Ann, is now living in shared accommodation which you can do when you get to be 16. This is in teh charming area of Tottenham. She says in her house there are 6 young girls: 2 working, 2 studying, 1 pregnant and her. Wonder which one Ann will be. Currently she’s not in education, she’s not working and she’s not pregnant and as she has no overriding passion for anything (sport, fashion, music, TV) it’s hard for me to fathom what she does with her 24 hours in a day. Having met the girl a few times, my money is on the pregnant scenario. The one guaranteed to offer her some company in amongst all her transient relationships. She’s had 22 placements since she was taken into care. That doesn’t bode well for a settled future. Having just read an interview in which Courtney Love says she had about the same number of carers and turmoil, I could be wrong. Ann could become a different kind of monster, a functioning and rich one. But Courtney seems to have had more get up and go and some talent for writing/making music, which is as yet totally absent in Ann. Not even her self-centredness is extreme enough to point to a future media star.

It does however make me think whether it’s worse to be pregnant at 16 or .. 46? Another friend is currently in the throes of having to wonder about this one more time. Or whether it is the pre menopause effects that throw cycles out of kilter? She’s rather hoping for the latter. Relationships that are only a year old or so are not considered steady or permanent, not in London and hers falls into that category: they don’t live together, he doesn’t want to, they have money worries despite eventual joint income at the £80/90k level now considered bare minimum for London (what a joke). But he freelance and she not been employed in new job for long so position not that secure (forgive the Borat lack of grammar speak). What’s worse? Who’s going to resent it more? This cataclysmic intrusion in a life still to be lived. Next 20 years looking after kid thus removing long w/ends abroad, wandering about exhibitions and nice restaurants and reading books and papers, magic idle w/ends… plus truly, that trip to Brasil or Vietnam next year? Forget about it. All future Xmas at one or other set of parents. No nearby friends or family able/willing to share burden of raising kid. No more sex as too tired - he’s no spring chicken either although what with tales of Stacey’s 50somethings, as detailed in previous posts, maybe lack of energy is the least of their problems.
Talking of which last summer Stacey had sex on same day with two brothers. Don’t ask. They were not in the same room together but yes, afternoon and night. That would have presented a difficult paternity choice. Can DNA tell which brother it would have been? She was late and lived with the prospect of this conversation for a good ten days (the brothers are also married so er…clandestine child). All was cleared up after her cycle returned, but boy what a problem to have. As for my friend… a few more days and the visit to Boots is inevitable.