5 August - Architecture & Design

Was leafing through American Design and Architecture magazine full of incredible buildings – mostly museums and hotels and offices – I mean, mere mortals cannot compete with houses who have a similar breath-taking factor. I’d be the first to ask Oscar Niedermeyer to do my new house but why would he use his time on a house when he can design a church or an airport. Anyway, I realise I know no names and nothing much about this world (ok Schrager, Pawson, Stark and so on but that’s just like saying you know who Marco Pierre White is, not like saying you now his equivalent in Canada or Japan, or indeed who's hot on their heels). For example there’s an article about a Matteo Thun who’s 55 and an associate of Ettore Sottsas. Know who that is but never heard of Thun and yet he’s re-branded Illy and Campari to name just two. I wonder why I’ m not into Art and Architecture. I do have friends who salivate over these mags and I don’t buy them, just come across them. Decide it’s because I see no point in being into art objects as I think I’d want them all and a) how to afford them and b) where to put them? Handbags are easier. If you filled your house with design furniture then you’d have to live with the stuff for years unless you’re Donald Trump and keep adding new houses so you can add new furniture. I’d want a new painting, rug, chair like I want new shoes ie. often, sort of like once a week (thank you Jesus for assorted good second hand shops and fabulous sales so I’m not actually one of those people carrying a 10k debt). Owning just one or two perfect pairs would not satisfy me, and furniture and buildings are harder to update. I could argue with myself that in the meantime I’ve lived with the same sofa anyway. Bought in 1987, it has changed upholstery only, gasp, once in twenty years. Out with the Timney Fowler all the rage in late 80's, and in with plain cream which is of course by now totally outdated. But I see what’s around me as… well I don’t see it past its function. I would not walk into my house every time and think ‘God, I love that £800 lamp by ??? (insert name). So long as my bed-sheets are white, I’m happy. But many other people do up houses and then sell on. I couldn’t. As I don’t let go of many possessions, I couldn’t let go of a house. I’d have to be like Sting when in fact I’m like Stewart Copeland who says he has the money but keeps only one house, one car. That’s my boy.
Ps there’s an article in the magazine about limited edition items. Someone has thought of making a fox fur …. Hammock. See, my imagination doesn’t stretch to thinking of one. Though now that I've seen it, I can think of nothing else. Having sex in a black fox fur hammock. How can I get to it? Do you think I can just order one, keep it for a few days and then send it back? How, how, how??? I don’t think anyone who reads this blog has one but who knows, it may have reached some Russian oligarch. Get in touch. I need to lie on one, sleep on one, do whatever you want on one.