23 July - Problems I don't have
Problems I don’t have… I run into ex colleague. We usually barely keep in touch but face to face it takes her 4 sentences (oh and me asking ‘How’s the kids?’) to get her to tell me that the 15 year old daughter is giving her sleepless nights. Turns out – and like most parents, S. had no idea about any of this till it crashed down on her – daughter had a boyfriend. She left him, then took him back, then he left her for another girl from same school in Muswell Hill, who told daughter to make herself very scarce and beat her up. Daughter got home with black eye and blood stained face and clothes but managed to convince mother that it was a playful accident.
Then there were more spats and new girlfriend asked daughter to meet her and have it out. Daughter turned up with 18 other school friends who apparently went to watch and no doubt film it on their phones. The up and coming fight was broken up before it started by an alert teacher or some other person. Result: all kids involved have been disciplined but daughter is especially persona non grata as her school friends think she grassed on them. Consequently, daughter has already bidden goodbye to everyone with ‘I’m not coming back to this school next year’. Now, there are no other schools S. could get her into at this late stage but she’s considering a private one –same as the son went to – but this would make life on her and husband’s salary impossible due to fees. Though both people have so-called good jobs. I’m speechless as I remember picture of sweet 12 or 13 year old on S. desk. Am making nice noises like ‘At least there were no knives involved, at least she’s not pregnant’ but they’re not very encouraging words… At least I don’t have kids is what I’m saying in my head as I wave her goodbye with some promise of lunch soon.
But I also had totally forgotten how deep your feelings run at 15! Imagine having it out in a fight because of a boy! Would I ever? No, these days all parties would get carefully composed letters and I’d be off to Cannes or something.
Then there were more spats and new girlfriend asked daughter to meet her and have it out. Daughter turned up with 18 other school friends who apparently went to watch and no doubt film it on their phones. The up and coming fight was broken up before it started by an alert teacher or some other person. Result: all kids involved have been disciplined but daughter is especially persona non grata as her school friends think she grassed on them. Consequently, daughter has already bidden goodbye to everyone with ‘I’m not coming back to this school next year’. Now, there are no other schools S. could get her into at this late stage but she’s considering a private one –same as the son went to – but this would make life on her and husband’s salary impossible due to fees. Though both people have so-called good jobs. I’m speechless as I remember picture of sweet 12 or 13 year old on S. desk. Am making nice noises like ‘At least there were no knives involved, at least she’s not pregnant’ but they’re not very encouraging words… At least I don’t have kids is what I’m saying in my head as I wave her goodbye with some promise of lunch soon.
But I also had totally forgotten how deep your feelings run at 15! Imagine having it out in a fight because of a boy! Would I ever? No, these days all parties would get carefully composed letters and I’d be off to Cannes or something.
posted by Lisa Taylor @ 2:20 AM
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