24 July - Is it a month?

I think it's just over a month since the middle age spread has poked its ugly fat through my normally taut skin. So I colllared a gym instructor who's seen me at her cardio/tone classes for a good year at least.

I ask her if there's anything specific I should do, given that my musclees underneath the belly flesh are pretty solid. She says no, that my core is indeed strong (she can see me doing the stuff) and that it's just the way it is. Well, no it isn't. She's smiling and sympathetic, but I can't help thinking that being under 30 she simply doesn't know how awful this all is. She's also a size bigger than me (though super toned) so she probably thinks, as they all do 'What have you got to worry about, you're thin'. But it's all relative.

And anyone out there who wants me to shut up about this, get in touch, donate the necessary £££ and am off to the lipo pronto. Am prepared to overcome my revulsion. In the meantime I'll have to go buy those reprehensible tab style weeklies that feature non stop pics of famous people unguarded and looking awful. Just saw Uma Thurman on the cover of one and boy that was ... bad. But am not interested in feeling less bad because it's a common problem. If that worked, all anyone would need when feeling an ugly moment is to whip out a picture of Donatella Versace, or Meg Matthews, and just feel better (money never fixed her, and she must has spent some).

Oh well. I can see how if I did have money and time on my hands, any quack out there could mint me by making me try all sort of potions and lotions and surgery...