10 July -Chores & Chores

Am on some kind of treadmill of constant chores and lists of stuff to be done which doesn't seem to be done fast enough. Toph sees the glass half full and constantly points out how much we've achieved. I on the contrary see only the glass half empty and the mountain to clim of what's yet to be done (am talking boring house refurbishments/decoration btw).

It seems age is turning me into someone with an OCD. I have X-ray vision only for skirting boards that need to be sanded, door frames that need to be painted, wall irregularities that need polyfilla and so on. It is extremely exhausting to give oxygen to these frankly boring aspects of life. I am tired all the time and can only rejoice in the fact that I don't have to attend also to kids going to shool or on holidays and that therefore life is still twice as simple than it would be if one had a family to take care of... but... am still tired. I sit down and I x-ray vision of dust over there that needs brushing off so off I go to eliminate it. I lie down and I x-ray vision of curtain rail that has yet to be hung up so I get annoyed that simple thing is still not struck of the to do list. Toph on the contrary seems to be tired but has plenty of energy for sex. The other day he came face to face with the unthinkable, and his plead went up ' But... but you never say no?!'

I had to say 'Welcome to pre-menopause, it may well get worse from now on'. No wonder men go get it somewhere else if women turn into the bores of the fireplace and let's face it, they can That was before i remembered though all I've read, ie that they can't really tell the difference if you're occasionally merely going through the motions. So equilibrium was restored quickly. But I'm still tired. And what planet are they on, all those people who undertake to convert ruins into castles and so on? I'd rather get the plague...