Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Friday, October 15, 2010

15 October - Art & Thieves

We go to a gallery where friend of L. is having a show. Mirrors cut and arranged in novel ways and rubber flooring. I like but can't tell you if it has any art meaning, It's in a large gallery in Bond St so am assuming they know what they do.

The after party is at the Arts Club in Dover st. I've never been, fancy that, who could I have missed it. When we arrive there's a small commotion, fire alarm, so we're kept outside waiting for a bit, and H and A go to the grocery store opposite and buy cheaper drinks there. We eventually get let in by a very rude manager who wants to know who we are etc, probably sick and tired of Frieze week, go downstairs, find other people we know - nice room - , find that someone has paid for the wine and I start to chat to one guy O. who was at uni with Toph, only different college and who is riveting (probably in small dose) and good friend of other friends so Toph gets a few mins of jealous feeling which is never a bad thing. This guy is not attractive per se but you can tell he's never had a problem getting women because he knows how to be interesting. I call Toph over when a certain mineral is mentioned that I know he has some trade in. And how wonderful to watch this guy's face when I reveal that I know what potash is. Simply brilliant, never second guess anyone in the world about what they may or may not know.

Upon exiting whilst J is retrieving his bag, I ask the greeter guy if he's Italian and he says no, Algerian, therefore a small conversation ensues during which he tells us the place is about to close for renovations, that Gwynnie Paltrow and thieves in mayfair! The Arts club, gwynnie paltrow is paying for some of it but he doesn't give a shit becasue they're all being made redundant in the meantime.

It's at this point that he gets called over by the other reception guy because our friend J.cannot find his £600 bill amberg new bag with all his life in it. He was made to check it in though there are not tickets, you just leave your bag in or on top a cupboard behind the entrance desk! G. says she was asked to leave her bag too but had refused. And you can't enforce stuff with laywers. They must have missed me but I'd have refused to enter a club with such a stupid rule. Check the contents if you want for smuggled whisky or weapons but am not leaving you anything. Nor coats on any hangers anyone can help themselves to.

J had various phones/chequebooks /house keys /receipts/passport in there. I guess even taking the keys out would have spoiled the line of his jacket. Much ado about must have been taken but one of the only other 2 members who left already, they go to try and call them but get no reply blah blah. In the end J goes home to G, next day no sign of his bag with those members. The bag has gone. We suspect major major foul play from the management since they had said nobody else had come in after us (though I guess any clever chancer thief could have sussed out what we were carrying whilst stood outside, followed us in and taken the bag as soon as J left it there and exited?????????

The lesson here is twofold, don't obey spurious rules (I wonder if they're actually posted in reception, no one is allowed a bag inside, go tell that to women) and besides everybody knows Boy George used to nick stuff from all the pockets when we was a coatcheck boy at the Blitz? and don't buy manbags that cost the same or more than women's. Maybe I wasn't asked to leave my £12 (down from £35) cheap bag because it quite clearly advertised itself as worthless and not containing any expensive wallets or expensive key rings? Ditch the designers people and you'll save more than money. All the hassle he had to go through for days after and they're still trying to deny liability. Boycott the stupid Arts Club, don't care if Pissarro stayed there a hundred years ago. And Gwinnie if you read this since you're always on the net, tell your insurers to pay out. Our J. has impeccable credentials and no need to go through a charade to claim money for no reason.



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