Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

19 January - Win & Lose

We all have our own battles, some are big and some are much smaller but if the smaller ones are very frequent, weekly for example, they assume a larger role. You could say 'You stress over that??? You're mad!' , but scratch anyone and find a long list of their own idiosyncrasies.

These battles can go on for years before you find a solution and the solution is always there for you to find, but you simply cannot see it. Perhaps if you had discussed the problem with a friend they'd have suggested a solution or told you it was a losing battle and saved you time?

Problem #1. The hard water in London or the washing machine or more likely my refusal to wash at 90c all the time (for eco reasons) and the result is that my white sheets are never as white as I want them. From time to time I leave them steeped in boiling water, or in bleach but they never come out as white as I want them. And yet I have a dim memory of a grandmother boiling them or I saw it in some upstairs downstairs movie and it worked? or perhaps it was an illusion due to the fact that in those movies or memories the sheets were then hanging out to dry in brilliant sunshine so they would be white rather than when I observe mine in London light. And if it was a movie that gives me this memory, how do I know that the sheets hanging to dry are actually the ones that were washed in the previous scene? They could be brand new? No, it was grandma's ones. Must have been. If by now you have thought of solution #1 'Buy new sheets', you don't know me well. Yes I can buy new ones but I would have the same problem and it just bugs me. So I carry on with this mini drama. But recently another grandma - not mine - told me 'Once they've gone grey, you don't get the white back'. This was not what I expected but effectively it means I can terminate my efforts. So I went one further and bought into men's mentality (bachelors of course) and bought brown sheets (could have chosen blue I guess). I thought I'd hate them becasue they are not white, but surprisingly they seem inviting to sleep. Sure I'll change them as often as before, if I had to rely on visual to tell me, months could go by (again, see bachelors we used to know). It may take a while however to fully convert to dark sheets. I still hanker for brilliant white but no longer believe washing powder ads.

Problem #2 was orchid envy. I'd visit shops, beauty parlours, other houses and everyone has blooming orchids which are a bit too ubiquitous these days but still a lovely indoor plant. Everyone has their own suggestions as to the care for these flowers and their position and have tried them all. My orchids die. Or rather, the flower stem does. You could argue that I never bought £40 plants to start with and it's possible that the expensive ones are bred to be stronger and more durable plants, but how to trust that I could have one of those survive if 3 (so far) of the tenner variety have wilted and 'died'? I also don't know if the orchids I see in other places are always the same plant or if in fact they have died and been substituted. If you owned a shop, you would get new ones all the time surely. But I wanted to see mine flower again, but so far no luck. The other day I was in Selfridges and in the basement they have an area of plastic flowers and plants for sale. Fab, though expensive. So I bought a white orchid large flower stem and plonked it into one of my vases (leaves are ok) and voila', I will never have to worry about the orchids again. In Poundland by contrast they sold small flower plastic stems (alas in pink), and I got one of those too for the other vase. Can you tell the difference from real plant? No doubt, but not at a distance so am happy.

Having solved these 2 persistent nags (perhaps problem is not the right word), I must move on to something else. I know... the tree that cuts out all my light /sunshine in the garden. Next project.


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