19 December - clubbers & fliers

Shopping at Shhhh. Had to renew some items and it’s always good to keep up to date with new introductions in the field of vibrators perhaps. I realise have been distinctly low-tech for a while. But these new ones are very expensive! Wish could E-bay the old one/s, or is there a market for collectors items? Or should I wait till one gets used on someone famous, (raking my brain but can't rememer any A-listers sadly) guess could photograph person + item to authenticate? And sell for higher price later? Anyway…Picked up a bunch of fliers and free magazines for clubs. Like a kid in a candy store I spread the armful of publications on bedroom floor and start studying them. I register the venues are the same as I know/have know, but the club nights and names of DJ’s are different. I so have not been clubbing in the last year or two and I so want to go!!! that I start planning which ones to visit. The best thing is to buy tickets as a way to committing at least, like paying for a personal trainer who comes around to kick you into doing what you want to, do but are too lazy to. I don’t ever do NYE in clubs, but now there are NY Day clubs. That’s appealing: go out at 11am and feel all full of energy whilst all around you they’re dropping like flies.

Am then distracted as I seem to have picked up a bunch of lesbian clubs and lifestyle magazines too and it’s another world, though again perhaps not that different. All these women mugging up for the camera at various clubs. It’s probably a bit sad that I have not given this area a try yet. Why say no to such a wide world of opportunities? But why get to try to understand women now? It would be boring to also have in bed the same conversations that you already have with platonic girlfriends. There’s only so much relationships stuff you can discuss when you get bored of UN and World Food programmes or the state of Ariel Sharon’s health.

Anyway, NY all-dayers, essentially I could go on my own, I certainly can’t think of friends right now who’d want to go except for friend’s ‘kids’. “Hi, would it be ok if Auntie Lisa comes with you? Please don’t say no!” No, can't bear to see the look of certain pity on their faces. Even if I could bribe them and buy all their drinks. I consider advertising for like minded pals. How to phrase this? Do not let me forget what it feels like to jerk my body about to music? Or prevent me from turning into the old person whose only chance to dance without being very out of place in a room full of younger people is to go to Goa where I once saw the oldest clubbers ever. They were tolerated nicely in the Emerald Forest clearing near Anjuna. However, they had to wear dayglo t-shirts and dance to trance which is not my thing and perhaps there are no elderly house music dancers out there. Trance is hell. Trance is where Goths moved to so they could carry on wearing nasal studs and very stupid clothes. I should have asked those older men and women what it felt like to blend in with younger travellers and if they did go to clubs in cities, and which ones and so on, but that was nearly 6 years ago and these kind of considerations were not part of my pre-40’s world then.

I put the fliers away for the moment. Maybe I can just get by with a furious bout of indoor club dancing if the neighbours don’t object to some old Armand Van Helden deafening them a bit.