30 March - Waffles & Fashion

A friend has asked me to translate some press releases and small editorials appearing in the press about a client/fashion products she represents. It’s tough. Not so much the languages involved; you really have to translate, then sit back and look at it again later to go pick all the wrong words and wrong syntax you used as it’s not like I switch between my second and third languages too often. No, it’s not that that’s tough, it’s because an A4 page of press release shows itself to be nothing but ¾ WAFFLE. Nothing like translating to notice how many times you’d be repeating the same concept if it wasn’t for the alterations in vocabulary. After the third paragraph telling you the same thing in a slightly different way, you want to scream: it’s all WAFFLE!!!!! Think of it, when applied to fashion it’s so obvious. 'The Winter '07 collection features luxury fabrics and bold colours'. Try and say that in four different ways. They don’t exist. You end up coming up with nonsensical descriptions. You may think you’re being clever and a tad surreal but it reads like NONSENSE. And try and explain in what ways this is revolutionary from what the same brand proposed last year? Unless they were previously making the clothes using cardboard, it was sophisticated fabrics and… colours. My favourite bugbear has to be ‘attention to detail’ or ‘unique details’. Yes, isn’t that a given or can I expect all the other fashion brands to just produce shoddy stuff that’s average? I bet even Primark have some clothes for which they use luxury fabrics and unique details. It’s just bonkers. I did it. It was a favour. I’ll get some of last season’s togs in exchange, not something I scoff at. But it was tough. If there’s photos to accompany the products especially, then let them speak for themselves. ‘Oooh check those strong blues and strong browns. Aren’t they bold colours’. You get my meaning.

So glad I only had a brush with PR back in the days and intermittently since. I hate it. Admittedly, it would be worse to have to do the same about ART. Another area where reading press releases (or lazy critiques that just use the press release almost in its entirety) makes you want to kill the entire industry.