25 June - Age & Spread

Jesus, don't know if the two things have anything to do with each other but isn't is strange that having had to halt exercise for the hand surgery, my body has decided to start showing me weight gaining all of a sudden? I mean, I am sedentary, but I still walk. However, if this is simply that age thing that's meant to happen when your peiods stop, and by doing exactly the same as you ever did, eating the same etc, you start to put on a couple of pounds a year around your waist, then clearly my life as I know it is over, I will get depressed about it, I'll feel like shit and I'll be a pain in the ass moaning about it endlessly?

What to do? L. says I should just accept it as it's going to happen eventually to all. But I say no no no. Over my dead body, though without recourse to the paraphernalia available to the rich, it will mean starvation till the bloody hormones heed! And that won't be much fun either. Step one, out with any alcohol. step two, get the juicer out. Fine till then, but step 3 (more exercise) step 4, no chocolate and the like, step 5, fasting 1 day a week, is just too depressing. L. says 'but you look nice a lilttle cuddlier!. Fuck! it's only been a week and she thinks I've gone cuddlier? This is so not on!

Later on I run into 51 year old R. and don't initially recognise her as she'd dyed her already short hair into an agyness dean/pixie geldof peroxided crop. She makes me feel not all is lost as she's a paragon of youtuful slimness. But she could of course not be quite on the other side of the menopause yet, having had 3 children, maybe it hits one later? Can't ask but she reads this I think, so let me know.
In the meantime, let's dial the gyno and start asking those questions I thought could wait till 55. Oh Fuck!