9 June - Truths & Self Censoring

Other people’s blogs manage to have more honesty infused in the writing. You may think this is pretty honest considering I write about Toph for example. ‘Doesn’t he mind?’ say some friends who know us both. Answer: he doesn’t have the url, or a way to find out. he was told I write about him and long time ago I gave him selected choice passages, flattering ones perhaps, but he’s hardly read them and profess not to be curious so he can hardly say he minds … Had it been the other way round, I’d have employed FBI style methods to arrive at his url. But yes, I steer clear of totally writing it like it is vis a vis me and him or even too much about thoughts that are outside of this relationship, just in case one day he reads them and gets totally upset by them.

But I avoid all sort of topics for fear of offending some friends who read or may read in future and sure I could write about just me, but just me is never in isolation and is always intertwined with them. So it’s sort of difficult. I say this because I was dipping in and out of another woman’s blog and she seemed to reveal a lot more about the past and the present and I was wondering at the candour. But is it? She’s after traditional publication so I have to conclude that she’s not ever going to be that honest either as it will never disappear from the waves so to speak.

But it presents all sorts of self censoring opportunities, like when you want to write about 2 friends who may both read this regularly having a tiff but you can’t. Your writing would give away whose side you’re on for example.

It’s all relative. For A. the boiler is about to explode and central heating and hot water has to be turned off till fixed by B. For B. the boiler is easily fixed (eventually, after A. has vacated the premises) and the problem was down to over using by party A in any case. Do you see what I mean? Imagine if I was talking about their relationships and so on.

It may not be dissimilar to when you want to call G’s ex girlfriend to tell her that his new /prospective squeeze has already commented about how she’d ALSO like to change his wardrobe which is on occasions so cringingly ultra gay as to leave you er… worried.

This would provide ex girlfriend with many needed giggles, but it’s not fair to G for example. But if I could write it like I want, possibly exaggerating in order to get a good sketch. Well, I would not be as good as Peep Show but … sort of, and you wouldn’t be bored by my moral dilemmas. Maybe I need to start another blog, just for me to really let rip when I want to…