Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Thursday, October 09, 2008

6 October - C Crunch

Am personally not that bothered (yet) having no debts, no major overheads and no clouds on my horizon and finding it easy enough to renounce a dinner here and a concert there. But boy it's catching. Am surrounded by people with much bigger salaries who, whilst still in jobs, are sort of having to almost interview for their positions again. It's not funny.
Of course they're not 25 so they're not stupid and they know that any management edicts is spoken with a forked tongue. Always.
I was 30 or 31 and still naive when one Wednesday I stood with everyone else in a large conference room to be assured by the MD that despite having merged with larger company X, we were all fine and the synergy would be even better, make us more competitive blah blah and a ton of blah. On the Friday lunchtime I was let go.... I think I spent the afternoon crying (it was my dream job) after of course trying to salvage my position first by appealing to said MD who I considered if not a friend, a sympathetic boss. He told me it was not his decision. Pah! what are you an MD for then? This being the second time in my life that something like this had happened (in other words I had not seen it coming and/or had believed management words), but the first time I was 26...) I resolved thereafter not to believe anyone. And whilst expecting the chop still doesn't mean you've sent off your CV and sorted it all out in advance. No, you kind of wait till you have to react...because life is like this.

Have to say that whilst in the past I was fearful of these kind of changes, now I sort of view them as the only occasion to alter anything otherwise you're pleasantly stuck in a rut. So bring it on I say. Sack me (with a decent pay off of course) and I'll be on the first flight to Thailand where I will not even go near an internet cafe for a month of lying on a beach. And then, I'll worry afterwards.... What's the worst that can happen?

Funny how a g/friend who's friends with wife of top banker said this woman was bemoaning the fate of the little people who depend on her for a job and who she'll have to use less (personal trainer, nannies) and was not considering NOT buying some stupid £800 designer handbag of which she has about twenty already in the closet. It's a shame this is a downturn and not a revolution, because if it were, finding the designer handbags in the closet would be all that the hordes need to deem to off your head instantly. But I should temper what I say given that this idiot has two small kids and some of my best g/friends do buy designer handbags too.

Just as welll that there are no dinner parties lined up as I don't think I could tolerate all the talk that is already in newspapers of the middle classes discussing how they now shop at Lidl and so on. I think they should actually be forced to sell their houses and go live next to a Lidl... in Enfield for example.

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