19 August - Pink Hats & Poles

Out with the colleagues on a Chablis bender recently. Eventually the high rankers slunk back to the office or to their long suffering wives (the ones campaigning to have a third kid because you know, they need to keep busy). So was left trying to keep up drinking with a 25 and a 30 year old women. They were chatting away and I was surprised when I looked at my watch that at 10.30pm they’re still going strong. Then it hit me that it’s because they’re so much younger than me (and one is a Kiwi considerably taller and larger than me) as to be able to withstand the sapping qualities of the wine. I made my excuses and left, not before considering that the conversation had been about relationships for most of the time. Mismanaged ones at that, so no change there whether the age group is 20/30/ or 40. But I kept quiet about my wealth of examples and played the optimistic card. It was all as tedious as I remember it.

A couple of nights later we were out again for a hen night. My first in years so had to check if they still run in the same fashion and they do. This group was well mannered and well behaved, average age mid-twenties. We went to an 80’s disco, the Reflex which pound for pound was probably better value than Chinawhite or any of those. Top place, reminds me of clubbing as a teenager, basically on Sunday afternoons, shake your booty to Lady Marmalade from 3pm till 6pm be home by 7pm with serious pout lips due to sucking face with some other 15 year old. Can’t believe they let us into discos underage but they did. Or maybe there were no laws about underage?
At the Reflex I walked down the stairs to the sounds of Tainted Love and it got better, New Order’s Blue Monday , then it gets worse, Rick Astley and Bananarama but it was all bad in a good way. Crowded at 8.30pm, I could take the tackyness factor till 10pm and then I left a dozen women intent on getting more drunk in their pink cowboy hats (they make everybody look v. good) as once again I had to admit I don’t have same stamina. Never did in a way. Was relieved they were relying only on alcohol and not coke. Read this great comment by journo about all of those liberal people who buy Fairtrade prods but then contribute to the blood economy of the same countries by buying coke. Maybe they can plant a tree for each 10 gms they buy? But, having fewer inhibitions whilst sober than a bunch of pissed youngsters, I was first on the pole. Didn’t get very far up. Had the wrong shoes. Or that’s my excuse.