2 April - Fat blokes & smelly shops
Easter, eggs will be hatching… which brings me to the guys at work whose wives are having or have recently had babies and who have put on masses of weight. Is this in sympathy? Is there no going out, no going away, no pride left for these men once they’re about to be with child? All this letting it all go/hang south? Can someone explain this strange phenomenon to me? Is it a fiendish plot on the part of the mothers-to-be to make them look similar and in this mirroring they don't stray? Or not unless they're paying?
These are people who cannot benefit from photoshopping, not when they are real and in 3D all around me. Men I’d previously found attractive - well some of them, proximity does funny things even if you’re not sharing a trailer on a film. Will they lose the extra stones when they're sleeplessly pacing up and down? Is nature making them stronger to cope with that?
Talking of which, alighted at Paul Oakenfold’s website the other day and nearly dropped my fork. I mean, in the photo he looked dishy or what? But how is that done? I want to know. It’s … just impossible to transform a person to such an extent. Ok this is a boring train of thought.
How about this one?
Never enter a second hand record shop if you have time to kill in Soho, not one that says half price sale.
It will be full of blokes and an undefinable smell that was not fresh or pleasant. Maybe it was just the old vinyl? And do these guys remember to travel with wet wipes so that they can clean their hands after shifting through all those alphabetically arranged cards with the title/artist/price and the sleeve? My hands were filthy after a mere few minutes and I do have the handy wipes.
Was considering they all looked like they could do with a conversation with a female who’s not their mother once in a while. And how about the fact that I sort of had to fight my corner to get some space and finger through said cards. Nobody conceded any room to me. I then deliberately fingered the cards not methodically one by one like the blokes were doing, as if I’d miss god knows what rarity by not checking each individual one (which let’s face it would have kept me there all day), but sort of skipped many. I almost wanted to put them back in the wrong pigeonhole just to see if anyone had a fit. I eventually found a couple of CDs I wouldn’t have minded owning at £3 or so and made my way to the counter. This is where they had had the good idea of keeping the real bargain bins and so the counter was swamped by blokes with no purpose in life. It took me 5 secs to decide I didn’t really need those 2 CDs and aborted the mission. I just couldn’t take the smell. I know I can get similarly single minded about.. shoes or clothes but ‘our’ shops are pleasant environments. This was like a toilet in Camden.
These are people who cannot benefit from photoshopping, not when they are real and in 3D all around me. Men I’d previously found attractive - well some of them, proximity does funny things even if you’re not sharing a trailer on a film. Will they lose the extra stones when they're sleeplessly pacing up and down? Is nature making them stronger to cope with that?
Talking of which, alighted at Paul Oakenfold’s website the other day and nearly dropped my fork. I mean, in the photo he looked dishy or what? But how is that done? I want to know. It’s … just impossible to transform a person to such an extent. Ok this is a boring train of thought.
How about this one?
Never enter a second hand record shop if you have time to kill in Soho, not one that says half price sale.
It will be full of blokes and an undefinable smell that was not fresh or pleasant. Maybe it was just the old vinyl? And do these guys remember to travel with wet wipes so that they can clean their hands after shifting through all those alphabetically arranged cards with the title/artist/price and the sleeve? My hands were filthy after a mere few minutes and I do have the handy wipes.
Was considering they all looked like they could do with a conversation with a female who’s not their mother once in a while. And how about the fact that I sort of had to fight my corner to get some space and finger through said cards. Nobody conceded any room to me. I then deliberately fingered the cards not methodically one by one like the blokes were doing, as if I’d miss god knows what rarity by not checking each individual one (which let’s face it would have kept me there all day), but sort of skipped many. I almost wanted to put them back in the wrong pigeonhole just to see if anyone had a fit. I eventually found a couple of CDs I wouldn’t have minded owning at £3 or so and made my way to the counter. This is where they had had the good idea of keeping the real bargain bins and so the counter was swamped by blokes with no purpose in life. It took me 5 secs to decide I didn’t really need those 2 CDs and aborted the mission. I just couldn’t take the smell. I know I can get similarly single minded about.. shoes or clothes but ‘our’ shops are pleasant environments. This was like a toilet in Camden.
posted by Lisa Taylor @ 7:24 AM
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