Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Monday, March 16, 2009

16 March - Sunday & Teens

Forgot to say that as another Sunday got to a close I was totally knackered.

I pick up my printed diary for the week and swear. See, there it is, I had written go to Dick 's club in Romilly st because a) not been yet and was mentioned over a month ago by P. who actually said in her FB that she 's planning to go, so I could have texted her and check.

Instead it's 9.30 and on the list I still have: clean and fix thingy shelf to put up in bathroom, read all the Sunday papers, only managed the Culture so far and even found last week's magazine which had missed as in LA, and paint nails, yep, it helps to go to a job I loathe right now if I have decent hair and nails and clothes of course, it makes it more difficult to break down and walk out if I maintain a superficial air of professionalism. Then there's hoover, as not been done in over a week, and 'get rid of plastic bags that have collected in the kitchen'. And I won't have time /energy for some self gratification, did that last night and can't repeat the exploit.
There was a time I didn't have lists. In fact I still don't, preferring to test my mind as to remember it all somehow. But have taken to writing plenty of notes on the print outs of weekly diaries I print at work. They're full of scribbles because I keep forgetting stuff.

So in order to achieve at least two things in one section of time I turn the TV on and there's nothing more inspiring than that no. 1 detective agency. I leave it on in the background as I read the main paper. Realistically speaking I have 2 hours in which to do all, as have to meet a builder at 7.45am. Life sucks if there's only one of you to do it all for yourself.

And then I don't sleep well. My no. 1 hate item in life is waking up at 2am to go and pee, even if i haven't drunk anything since 10pm and gone to the loo before crashing at 12pm. Because surely there must be a pill one can take to make one's bladder last till morning. Will I have to wake up twice per night when I pass 50 and just do it in the big sanitary towel for old people when I pass 60? This is going to be so annoying!!

So instead of doing anyhing I catch up with some friends on the phone. The innocent question to D. about how's her kids and the answer and the answer I get is that J. has just come back from Thailand having sex with prostitutes, whereas R. is doing a the stripper course to pay for college. At least they're well twenty something, and adult enough to make own choices good or bad.

The other day in idle checking of websites I went and looked at teens, well it said it was all over 18 so I figured I wasn't breaking any law. And there they were hundreds of them blah blah. It's like everyone wants to be in their own movie. I can't help but belive that the girls are always coaxed into it by their or boys in genearl but maybe there is also some peer pressure at work. In any case do any get pai d for it all or do they do it all for free. I always think it's the height of stupid to offer all this content for free when some advertiser, or owner of site makes money with the various subcriptions I will never take on because my curiosity is very superficial. yes there may be over 2, 700 photos of mary x and her ... hairy etc, (er different w ebsite) but you know, the sample 30 or so are more than enough, though of course am told she has dedicated fans. Who are these people? Oh, only our boyfriends, lovers, brothers, husbands, colleagues, sons etc.


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