Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

22 March - Paradise club & young people

I swear to god... I get captured from time to time by non close friends who want to go out and appeal to me as one who still does go out in a desert of people who want to go out. If that makes sense. So after ducking a few proposals, I find myself agreeing because... it seems unkind to say no. Thus I find myself playing guide to a 30 something friend who's trekked all the way from beyond Greenwich to come check the Paradise because she's heard it's a great bar/club of some sort. A further friend of hers who was meant to come has dropped out so am not afforded the luxury of doing the same. Darn.

I like it too. The problem for me is that an hour into a place like that, I sort of want to go home but this would be curtailing D's fun and I have to endure it till the end (ok 1am or 2am, can't remember now, so it's not till dawn or anything but...). The problem is that we only have each other to talk to and we've already done that on the way there, plus am largely not interested in much that goes on with her. A few guys check her out (she's good looking and sexy) but it doesn't go far and perhaps she doesn't want to then ignore me. I am a bit out of place here as everyone else is max 35 and at 37 D. is already beyond this age group but it's definitely not mine any more. My feet hurt too. It's become plenty apparent that going out dancing was purely part of the mating ritual. I no longer need to find a mate right now, ergo, I don't need to do the song and dance routine.

She's staying the night so when we get back and I am dying to go to sleep she remarks how nice it is to be together like sisters in old bedroom chatting into the night, which then means I can't just cut it short and say 'Am off to bed'. Oh dear. The worst part is that she has had fun and so wants to do it all again soon, since there is also another place at my end of town that she's heard about. But I manage to say something like in a couple of months and then hopefully I can stretch that to four. Oh yes I've got old!

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