Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Thursday, June 02, 2011

2 June - Other lives

Was reading a blog of a friend of a friend who answers questions with some kind of explanation ie. absurd stuff and that led me to blog of a woman with small children, 5 and 9 I think and boy what a splurge of stuff that is. Few postings but very long and written when she's exhausted at night waiting for the washing machine to spew out school shirts and socks etc. All of it is about life with kids which makes me wonder what my daylight thinking hours are filled with since I don't spend a minute thinking about 2 kids.

And if you took the kids away from her what would she spend time thinking? I am reasonably involved in aiding and abetting friends's and their 'need someone who can do this/did I tell you about that' but what else? I do catch myself thinking how great it would be if I took of a picture that's resting on the top shelf of a bookcase (next to 3 vases) and substituted another vase and then that shelf would provide a more harmonious little vista. When this happens, I tend to think life is sucha bore if this is what it throws up (like.. who gives a f about that shelf/those vases, why do we even have them, who gave them, when did we buy, in response to which impulse).
Some other time I watch 20 hours of dvd series in batches of 3, 4 hours - ok you guessed, The Killing, unsatisfactory end etc etc. This is a novelty of the last year, only other previous dvd series watched in fast track was MadMen. Is this another sign of the end ie. ageing?

I bet mothe of 2 kids would feel as shit as I did last night though, watching a docu on the UN brazilian chief Sergio di Mello who was blown up at headquarters in baghdad in 2003, dead now together with many of his colleagues. Pretty harrowing and what a series of achievements he had gathered till then, Cambodia, East Timor, hobnobbing with Kofi and Clinton and basically died because there was no equipment to extricate him from the rubble collapsed on top of him. Another colleague next to him was rescued but only after they sawed his legs off just below his pelvis. So there I was sat on the floor watching very dignified tributes paid to this man and wondering why my head is full of mostly nothing. Not that I believe this is uncommon..

Off to the Biennale shortly... will we run into Geoff Dyer I wonder... or just crazy Courtney?


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