5 July - paul

Went to the b’day of a recent ex lover (decision to stop the relationship being sexual is of last week, hence had gone to the singles night at LRB - really, believe me, am not so duplicitous). This was a surprise I had organised with the help of one of his best friends (the event was disguised as a flat warming party for her new pad) but I was a bit apprehensive as to why he never mentioned he’d see me there on Sunday. Was convinced this was because he was going to unveil some new lover to his friends (not being one to waste any time himself). Eventually this was not so, though another ex was there S, whom I know of (we all seem to want to mother him afterwards and to want to find him a good woman – that’s because he’s got a pretty good personality – I myself had met him at a b’day drinks for another of his exes).
It was proving impossible to get him out of the lounge long enough to set up the balloons, cake, banner and so on. So I was instructed to try and lure him into a bedroom and ‘make out’ with him. Which I successfully did, so much so that he wanted to go through with it, not questioning for a second what degree of female instability would possess me to change my mind a mere few hours after our momentous decision ‘not to just do it’. I said something about this not being fair to the hostess. He said it could be processed in a few minutes to which I had to reply, maybe for you dear, but I’m not in favour of that much of a quickie today. He came out of the room exactly a minute after I exited and his previously h uge er ection was under control so for all those times we were told (when much younge)r that if we refused to satisfy the e rection it would physically hurt the man in question, or would take forever to subside, well frankly it’s not true. A good time was had by all after we went ‘Surprise!!!’ and the crowd then went elsewhere when one of his other ex lovers (early 2004 to… early 2004) was also having a b’day. I’m not sure what that makes me, but possibly I would eventually figure as late 2004 to mid 2005 - with major gaps, hence my availability for other escapades. I will give him a graph next time I see him.
An interesting psychological thing I’ve noticed is that I was reluctant to mention him here whilst there was some chance it may turn into a long lasting relationship and I would not exploit him for anecdotes and stuff but now that he’s soon to be history, such delicacy does not apply. I also had to reflect on our readiness to have sex all the time. I’ve read somewhere that men have a sort of 5 day cycle and women a 10 day one. Meaning we kind of naturally want sex at that regularity. I’m led to believe that if you actually live together etc that regularity further stretches into longer cycles and goes out of the window somehow (work out the initial flow in the ‘system’) but for us singles, no such thing perhaps so, in the presence of a lover, we are still responding to the frequency of early, non solidified relationships, you know, when you want it all the time and would spend a w/e in bed etc. A sort of perma-lust state driven by pheromones. Either that or we’ve skipped some developmental stage…
Ah, pheromones, by the way, a friend has discovered a pheromone bloking device if you can call it that. She recently spent an evening with an ex lover she always found tremendously difficult to resist, pure raw lust would overwhelm her as soon as his knee touched hers etc. Well, these two managed a few hours in very close proximity without her so much as having to resist any urges. A cheeky white line is all it took. Think about it, nasal passages go totally numb, you can’t really breathe in any scent, hence, pheromones were defeated!

At the surprise b’day on Sunday, was also another friend of his, Pam, who told me she went on a date with someone from Craigslist (if you need to ask, go google) who turns out to be the very same boring Frenchman who came to the Caravaggio exhibition with myself and F a while ago. Boring Frenchman (she only chose him because he was French and she is from NY and she fancied a change) was also left disappointed by Pam who understood a first date to be a sort of interview and not necessarily resulting in a lustful night as he’d obviously hoped for. What is it with these guys? If they want it that fast, what’s wrong with paying for it then? Ok, so he’s a lawyer and doesn’t want to kerb crawl, but what about all those escort things, he has the money (bored both of us with what superb apartment he owns, car, bike etc)? He ad also replied to an ad her friend S had placed so that’s a bit indiscriminate, as though the women are friends, their respective descriptions have to be very different. It’s a jungle out there clearly. I could write another story about another Craiglister and Portugal, but I’ll save it.