23 August - More Fashion puzzles

Still on the subject of fashion and following part 2 of the Asian wedding. I know that the material for saris comes in a standard length of 5.5 metres. The lady guests at the wedding were a varied bunch but certainly proof that obesity is not just a Caucasian problem in the UK. Voluminous and billowing is the word that comes to mind though of course the drapes of the saris make every fat lady look sort of gracious. Naked would be a picture I just don’t want to conjure. Sorry, I have a thing about folds of flesh over fannies. Conversely there were also tall and skinny women and a fair amount of Kylie sized ones. So my question is… do the tiny ones not use all the fabric out of the 5.5 metres? And do the giant turtle ones have to buy 2 x 5.5 metres? And if so, where’s the seam that joins the two panels? You see, I’ve got time to wonder about this stuff.
Much as I wonder why a percentage of women who buy new shoes, fail to remove the sticky labels on the soles. I know it’s hard work. I have cursed manufacturers many times because no one is that blind and so the label does not need to take up the whole sole (this is at sales times especially) and because the only way to remove them totally is by using a kitchen scourer and wetting the label. Boring. But I do it because the alternative is just too awful (am talking high heels here). As for labels on clothes, yes I know they’re there by law and even then they don’t tell you the full story ‘Manufactured in China but if you think no one used child labour you’re wrong, think again and besides you know that’s not even the worst of it, there’s other crimes against human rights committed in that country… ‘ and so on. But you don’t have to keep the label! Maybe I’m mad but I cut them off pretty much as a rule. I razor off also the actual brand labels very often. Especially if I have succumbed to buying a pair of £3 knickers in Top Shop. No one needs to know and as I have advised girlfriends in the past, your average man cannot tell the difference between a £3 acrylic lacy panty and a £60 real lace La Perla one. Try it one day, it’s not even close in a Coke vs Pepsi contest, no, it’s truly chalk and cheese but they can’t tell. Hence, labels off. Also the long ones scratching your waist on the inside of tops and bras and so on. Ok, everyone is allowed a mild obsessive compulsive disorder. I mean, I don’t as a rule avoid touching handrails on the tube for fear of germs so I don’t think I need to see a doctor, yet.

Oh and another note on Asian weddings. They’re very democratic, especially the ones where they hold a buffet (been to only two and both time it was a buffet), there’s no need for top tables or table settings, you just sit down wherever. Though there was no mingling of conversation between the Asian heritage and the UK guests. Not much said. Weird. And as was Hindu wedding, no alcohol. Saves lots of money and bad behaviour when you think about it.

ps. the fact that men can't tell quality fabrics from non-quality is no excuse for them to buy you £3 panties from Top Shop. Just in case any bloke is reading this. Beware.