10 April - Amora & New Tips

To the opening of Amora, the London Academy of Sex and Relationships. A grand sounding name for a new museum about sex. Tasteful colours and designs, a pretty good space if you want to try one of these.. am told the one in NY is shit and the one in Amsterdam too kinky/fetish. This one is more Spa/Vegas. It’s in the Trocadero but you don’t actually have to go inside that horrible space to access it. It manages to tell me some info I didn’t know about sex (and no am not telling you where my lack of knowledge lied) and so all in all I conclude that it would have to be invaluable if you were 18 and seeking enlightenment. Then again, it’s good I got to this age unaware that you can use one of those core stabiliser inflatable large gym balls as a surface to lie on whilst having sex. Girl lies on it (or boy ahem) and man kneels and fucks her as she’s gently supported by the ball which not being hard and ungiving as a mattress, allows for a lot more jigging and fun. Plus you get to move around the room you’re in and they’re cheap. Must get one. Though watching a short film where a man is fucking a woman who’s comfortably hanging in a harness makes me want that more. A friend had a harness but I wanted to borrow it for my own partner and not use it with the owner so it never came to pass. So yes, probably best not to go to Amora if you’re 18 so that you haven’t got it all spelt out so soon and they’ll be things to discover later on. I for one got home eager to do ‘snake’ and to ‘watch chandeliers’. Actually I do the latter occasionally but clearly had forgotten. Then again I spot some holes (ha ha) in the knowledge imparted, or maybe I simply didn’t stop and watch and listen at all the displays. Will go back some other time.

The visitors on opening night were a varied bunch. As I watched one position on screen Io muttered to myself ‘You need a long penis to that one properly’, only to hear a male voice next to me agree! I had not spotted the short man standing there. We let it drop, but maybe the place can serve that function? An instant craigslist casuals so to speak? I met the owner’s girlfriend, a not out of this world blonde in a white suit. However, I couldn’t take my eyes off her emerald green high necked silk shirt. It made me want to run my hands up and down the fabric. In my heels I matched her height and could look straight into her eyes and take in the plump mouth. Later I told Toph and he said ‘Ask her along’. As you do. All idle talk as far as I can tell. So I replied ‘I think she was checking me out for her scene, not ours’.
Maybe the thing to do is a little trade where you don’t tell your boy you’ve gone to theirs and then some time later she can come along to ours and not tell her man. That way, the boys ego doesn’t get called into question. But not sure about mine. Must engineer to meet her again and see if in different clothes she has the same effect. Am a girl you know; a man would care little about the package.