Diary of Lisa Taylor, reluctantly 42 (and a half)

Or.. 'f.ck me I'm forty.. two.. and a half', though can look 38 on a - not so deluded - good day. Or 'How to reconcile a well experienced mind trapped in a still - but for how long? – youthful body.' Don't have the 30somethings angst/problems, neither have the resigned (?) ageing baby-boomers in safe family territory outlook yet. Here's how I cope, one day all sexy women will get old... but never invisible. © Lisa Taylor 2005/6/7/8/9. Jeez.. so much for the 42 and-a-half delusion

Friday, September 26, 2008

30 September - Shopping Moratoriums

Not buying anything for a month was easy. I got instant gratification from pots of paint and brushes and other stuff I needed for the house instead. And have in fact spent considerably more amply than I ever do for myself. But walking past the fashions was easier than I thought. The trick was just not to go in. In fact I lie. There was a lingerie shop that had just closed its doors one evening at 9pm but had screaming banners saying 'All bras £2.50 today'. Of course I had to go in so I loitered till a key carrying manager who was obsioulsy keen to exceed her target for the day, seeing my hungry look, let me in thinking I may by 20 or so of the creatures.
As it happens they were a bit boring so I bought only 2 and resisted the further temptation to buy the matching items. I hardly ever do matching. It never works when you have too much stuff and besides, it seems to me that men admire your portions of body separately. When he's focussing on the tits he doesn't notice the knickers and the other way round. Plus we all know that men don't really register if lace is pure, handcrafted by old widows in Seville quality or ... primark machine made stuff that can't be called lace but is of a lacey pattern design. So I don't bother. If I did I'd have to be purist and as such for example I couldn't/wouldn't mix my fabric. I couldn't wear the plain lycra bra with lacey knickers or the cotton knickers (yes I have some, one has to be practical and we all know that chafing delicate areas under gym pants can be hell) with the silk fest bra.

So apart from this giving in to temptation, which had to be done since for the previous ten minutes I had browsed with a friend and not bought anything in H&M, I bought zilch garments.

But it begs the question though that if you do this long term and don’t update your wardrobe with a bit of this year’s tartan (double yawn about calling this a trend) or the right heeled shoes, or the silly fake fur jerkin, you risk being stuck into being ‘old’. Like those men who don't update their spectacles at least every 5 years. In terms of fashion, not buying anything 'now' , not even a belt, can turn you quickly into a social worker type woman or your old teachers who just wore the same summer dress year in, year out. I'll go a bit longer if I can manage. I have to buy a new bed and dining table for example, but party season is upon us soon. I'll ave to think long and hard what to break the embargo with. Right now, having looked at the norma kamali website (cause a friend may take over all the production of it in Europe), I'd like most of her clean lines and colours stuff. Sort of American Apparel for grown ups. I then remind myself that that's not my style at all, it is simply the american princess modern ralph lauren aspect of it that I like when I wish I was of Danish stock and living in property in New England. That doesn't happen often and besides norma kamali lives in dreamland. The woman has a cafe'/showroom where everything is white. She needs to know that most of the world does not live in rarefied Manhattan Central Park apartments with maids and drycleaners on tap... Silly old cow.

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26 September - Young & Creatives

So we went to a creative business show.... me and my friend whose son organised said show for the second year running, he's only 25...She's very proud of him. The room is full of people but we can't spot anyone as old as us. Or we do, eventually, a couple of blokes with grey hair but they have no desire to talk to us preferring to lord it over the young ones who think we must all be advertising execs who can give them a much sought after job. Unfortunately am in no mood to lie so when they address me as I turn over the pages of their porfolios, I come clean and say I'm here purely as a ligger.

It's a strange trip down some weird memory lane. I must have been one of those people, say, when I went to the exhibition for the first five years of The Face and I was briefly dating the creative director. Now, not only we don't know any of the copywriters/AD's, that's fine, they've just finished college, am ok with that, but when we pause to look at the poster listing the names of this year's judges... we don't know a single one and that's like suddenly realising you've gone blind.

We saunter across the road for a posh fish and chips and find ourselves exiting the venue at the same time as David Baddiel who must have been upstairs in the club. I'm not especially proud of recognising him but ten years ago or so I must have watched him on TV or I wouldn't know who it was. I've recently thrown out some VHS that had recordings of the first show that Jonathan Ross ever hosted... back in the infant days of CH4 was it?

I could have stayed longer and gone to hang with other grown ups in the club but find myself in a taxi with my friend going home at 10pm. On a Thursday. That was major staying out night...
The fact that the financial world is collapsing seems to trouble me less than the above...

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23 September - Steelworks & Robots

Jestam operator I mam mini kalkulator
Ja dodaje, odeijimuje, kontroluje, komponuje.

Guess you can tell I went to Poland primarily to hear some old geezer (ralf hutter) and 3 unknowns who stand in for florian, karl and er.. the other one, do a fabulous Krafterk set inside the buildings of the (formerly) largest steelworks in Europe at Nowa Huta.

More to follow.... but how could I have forgotten where I was going? Missed out on the chance to have freshly smoothed face from botox and other in this charming part of the country...

tbc

Friday, September 19, 2008

18 September - 1987 Porn

Silence due mainly to prepping my flat for impending tenants. In order to have a place decorated as you know, one has to empty it and give it a clean before it then gets cleaned again post works done. This is exhausting if you do it on your own as has befallen me this particular week. It's all very well filling cardboard boxes with books and old vinyl ready to be put in storage but if you then can't lift them or place heavier one on top of not so full ones and the whole tower collapses, well, it is depressing.

Part of the problem is that I can't take boxes to storage until after the decorators have been in. This is clearly frustrating as 'things' will be in the way, but it's not merely as frustrating as realising that well stored in various nooks and crannies were approx a thousand cassettes. yes... that many. Half proper shop product and half the ones you've made or friends have made for you. If you're me, you don't just empty them in a bin and say 'voila', good riddance, have not listened to you for 10/20/25 years (in some cases) but you sort of re-examine the stash fondly. This can take hours off your life and you end up binning a grand total of 15 out of the hundreds.
Anyone young moving house in say... 5 years from now, would not have any of this shit as their music would be stored on a harddrive or other drive or a couple of ipods or phone or whatever. Hey presto. The same for their books. But no.. am from decades ago. Bear in mind that all I have to presently empty is the living room/kitchen. All clothes etc are already safely elsewhere. So how can this take so many evenings out of my going out time and be so depressing? Being medium vain, I dont think I have more photos than the next person but perhaps several full filing boxes is... a lot? I can't bin this stuff! It's just too precious to me.

My brain only works with prompts. So, for example, if I chuck the 1992 map of Seville, I will never ever remember again I went there with David, or the 1995 map of Tokyo, I will never remember I went there with Ronny. Sure, somewhere in the photo boxes are photos from those trips but do I ever write dates on photos? No, I dont'. Therefore whether I went to Seville in 91' or '92' or '93 would be difficult to say. Who do I need to say it to, you may ask. Well, nobody but I still can't chuck the stuff. Though 3 full bin liners later, I have had some success.

What made me laugh was the 1987 and thereabouts years, stack of porn. I never bought it, but boys surely gave me some. I rang my friend I. to ask would he want to come get some vintage porn. He correctly assumed this would be pre brazilian porn and by and large it was. Though of course shaving has always been performed. However, the quality of the perms and bodies left a lot to be desired. I kept him one or two mags, one called, and I hesitate but this is not a family blog, 'New Cunts'. I mean... talk about it does what it says on the tin. Though of course they may have been new to that publication and old dogs in another. But shame I have no time to advertise them to the discerning collector. Surely as someone will buy my copies of the Face magazine isse 1 to at least 60, there would be a market for vintage porn? Issue #5 of the Face may have had Paul Weller on the cover, but issue May of New C...s for all I know features the Diana Ross of pussy. I could have happily spent an hour or two reading the ludicrous stories as well or the small ads for swapping wives and so on. This stuff was mostly continental. If you'll remember back in '87 you couldn't purchase full on porn here that easily.

Anyway, too late, all ditched and made the mistake of putting the mags in same bag as a ton of old receipts. Not possessing a shredder, I did my best with manual tearing into strips but am sure my name is still there on many and what a nice haul to find if the bag splits... Horror. It's like, that stuff's not mine. Yeah, go tell that to someone else.

I think that were it not for the availability of porn on the net, my /those magazines would have enticed I. to trek from East London to my flat but alas, he couldn't be bothered. Also something to do with turning 55, he really is not that keen. Told me at dinner recently he turned down a 28 year old. It's just not what he can deal with anymore... They all bond and want more and he's not able to shake them off without consequences to himself. But I digress.

Yes, back to sorting things out tonight. Can't bear it. God give me strength and all that, and if anyone wants dozens of 80's vinyl, say so. Though, ultra depressing this, I spoke to a guy with a stall who showed me a flier from some music fair and the information on it stating you can buy bags of assorted 100 vinyl from the 80's for £2. Well, so much for hanging on to Tears for Fears for this long then! The 80's are only in for fashion. Gave a chunky metal gold chain to a girl the other day and heard myself say 'Was wearing this in '84, early Madonna days, it's totally vintage'. mmmhh, that overused word again.

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15 September - glastonburley

Ok, again a retrospective one just to say that the bucolic b'day bash for the 44 year old who had forgotten to celebrate his 40th and now had a second baby to show us all, went very well. It was blessed with sunny weather and the organisation was first rate, we didn't want for anything in the barn and the fields and my BF had taken the executive decision to book us into a nearby stately home instead of erecting a tent which we do not own to start with.

As we were arriving from different directions I met him there after a few days separation which works very well as he couldn't wait to get his hands on me. This was really lovely. Plenty of couples there but not that many or in fact any as touchyy feely as us. Not that we overdo it, but I don't know if anyone else managed to lose their brood of kids to go explore the woods and have a quick fuck with a view. I'd be surprised.

As with all these things you chat a little to people you already know and join the dots of how they come to be friends with your friend. Which is always interesting. Toph spent a lot of time talking to a superseded friend of his who's still a poker player but has lost his looks (Toph said he had shagged madonna back in the days), and I rather liked my driver JH who turns out to be the brother of someone I knew and the ex business partner in a failed restaurant of someone else I knew, and also liked a journalist with an italian name but not related to the ex MD of selfridges. I then read a few things she writes online and I thought thank god I never went down the route of lifestyle journalism. To have to write such crap (well not crap but hardly necessary stuff) in order to earn money, though working from home and all that, would just depress me too much.

JH also had the loveliest 7 year old daughter with him (he's divorced) and she was put to bed in the tent at the top of the hill 3 times and 3 times she walked all the way back down to see how the party was coming along and not really allowing dad to chill. By that point we were well away in bed. You know you had a good time when you arrive at your hotel and you're still clutching an empty cup of vodka in your hand.

It was a modern affair in so much as the house/grounds belonged to an ex g/friend of b'day boy who clearly has no issues with him anymore. She's a top TV laywer and I couldn't work how who she'd have 2 mill to own such a place plus the flat in London but apart from having been a movie laywer, she got to keep the farm after her commercials director ex f ucked off with a younger model. Sad but true. Hardly anyone ever gets the whole package for ever. She seemed pretty happy to play lady of the haystack but it must have hurt. Well, in fact it did. When it happened, b'day boy/the ex had to drive the 3 hours out of london worried she'd killed herself and then eventually found her passed out in a field. But that was... last year?

In the car back again with JH and TB, he was telling us stories of when he was briefly a hot artist in the 80's. He now acknowledges how much bullshit he and his mates talked and I told him to start a facebook thread to get all 80's hedonists from that circle to contribute photos and stories, so that he could collate them in a handy book. My favourite story was of when young D. one of is other 2 cohorts, was going out with the heiress to the Ford fortune in NY but she came back unexpectedly from somewhere to find him in bed with someone else and that was the end of that one. I told him to try and find her, maybe now she'd go for him (he's the clever one of the 3 I think). Very dapper too, head of white hair, but needs to take better care of his clothes before he goes all whitnail on us... Girls don't like stains.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

9 September - No Buy & Hardline

Had decided to do a little experiment for this month, since am in the process of divesting myself of many possessions in order to travel lighter. I thought I'd attempt not to acquire any more for a while. (see Sept 1 entry).

I have to report that this is proving easier than I thought. If you go round the city in your usual fashion but thinking 'I'm not buying anything', all you need to do is stay out of shops and hey presto. It's accessing shops that ruins your resolve as you see 'bargains'.

However it is impossible to not buy anything if you realise that you need a new baby gift for yet another godson (£100 on fab gold pendant which daddy can engrave and wear till appropriate time as to pass on... shame I couldn't afford the chain, but another £150 was not in my budget. This kid has to earn my love yet), a b'day gift for one of your oldest male friends.. (where to start... I could revamp his life easily), or a welcome back lover boy I've missed you gift, and so on. So have revised this restriction to not buying anything for myself. This does not exclude things like restaurants or travel or theatre and so on. All intangible things that will not clutter my space.

Getting rid of stuff is not easy though. I emptied two boxes of silk scarves and not so silk ones and only found only 4 items to truly eliminate. The rest were like old friends I hadn't seen for a while, I can't wait to wear my scarves again. To be honest had forgotten 80% of them existed. The combined weight of the ones which could be disposed of came to approx 200gms so it makes no sense to get rid of them, though I did, eventually. I had to start somewhere.

I fared a little better with shoes/boots/bags but again, they're all small items. So are books until you fill a box or three of them. I chucked two dozens I'd bought to read and never got round to. Let's face it... they're not rare, they're in print. I'll get them as and when. The vinyl took a hit. Though if I'm still thinking about a gatefold sleeve mint condition Are You Experienced a week after I sold it for next to nothing, this tells me I made a wrong choice there. Don't miss James or Tears for Fears, wich are probably in a landfill. There are no possible fans of either out there who would want them from whatever charity shop they've ended up in to start. I think there are charity shops employees who say thank you for your bag, then look inside and go... 'landfill please'.

6 September - Art & stalking

ok, am now filling these in retrospectively in October as had too many September tbc's and I hate being so slack/forgetful.
I went to an art launch for a colleague who had taken a sabbatical of six months to finallyget an exhibition in place. I didn't know what to expect and was very happy to find it of a great standard. I may not know much but I had no problem reading the blah blah stuff and understanding her journey into the finished product, unlike some other people. I guess I'd have enjoyed it even more if I truly appreciated that the journey is as important as the final product. I liked it but there was a certain reliance on rorschach test type images that ultimately would not hold my gaze for long and I'd find them trite. I liked some sculptures but at 5k each they were not that appealing after all.
I was about to leave after two beers when on the stairs I went past the BF's ex who doesn't know what I look like. From then on another entertaining half hour was spent stalking her to my hearts' content. She works in the arts too so there was a logic to her being at the launch. Funny how she's exactly shabby as her photos I'd previously seen. I mean, it never fails to bother me why people who earn more cash than I do can be so reluctanct to spend it on a good coat or a good pair of boots or... their hair. Nobody age 35 should go around with hair in bunches, it's just unbecoming. Anyway, I ended up taking a short vido on my phone (as you do and because this way I can stare at her any time I want) and phoning the BF to say 'your ex looks like a camel, how could you?' He said 'She scrubbed up well, sometime'. Bless, how sweet. But yes, if you're nearly 6ft tall and you don't have the face of a model, it's not easy to dress. I nearly tapped her on the shoulder to say the slightly 70's gym shoulder bag had to go. I did tell the BF she was with a short ugly g/friend which seemed to make him happy. I mean, she was not there with some hunky artist or patron of the arts.

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Friday, September 05, 2008

5 September - Laters

Bit busy today, have other stuff to write but I'll just leave you with this one.. did you khow about Sharon Stone and Bill Clinton? On Airforce 1? Me neither.. Maybe it's really old but I got if from Jon Bon Jovi who was there, as a sort of decoy, though he didn't tell me but a friend. How much do we believe it? And as a friend asked, which one got tired first? Are there any pictures?

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4 September - Violence & Stalking

A friend is working in Plymouth for a few weeks. The other night he and three colleagues, all form London, went to a local pub. On the way out my friend tripped on the stairs and reached out to steady himself on someone’s arm. After he got out, a man run up to him and said ‘Why did you do that? I’ll fucking stab you’. Admittedly he said this retreating, possibly as the others were a small group, but it left them stunned. Why would you say that? Why would you say 'I’ll stab you?' For what? For perhaps not saying sorry loudly enough? My friend is not a major drinker so I doubt his group was rowdy, they have to be doing something reasonably brain consuming at 9am every day, and he’s slightly built so, you know, hardly a threat. Don’t these people read any papers? It’s on the front of the Sun every day that knives kill. It’s moronic to say I’ll stab you. Anyway.. he’s just not going to that pub again.


This reminds me also of a domestic violence conversation we had with M. a friend of P. the other night. P. can’t understand why anyone would stay with someone who hits them. But I can, I read countless stories in women's mags, it’s easy, if you think that’s the only person who loves you and cares for you, even getting hit is .. something you just put up with … for however long. In this woman’s case a couple of years so she got out ok and was not too badly hurt. She stayed because she was isolated having gone to live with him in Geneva and because she was ashamed to be failing and blaming herself somewhere. She got out partly because it wasn’t the first time it had happened to her. Which brings me back to who falls into abusive relationships. Perfectly fine women but attracted to something in the man who turns up to be abusive though he's not abusive from the start, he has that in him and probably attracts them wiht the reverse of the coin, some macho stuff that makes them feel initially taken care of by a strong guy etc. Or a guy they want to fix/change for the better and of course none of us ever goes and has indepth interviews with the previous girlfriend who would tell us how it is/goes.

M. says it’s a woman in four who experiences this. I don’t know where they get statistics but nobody I know has been through this ordeal. And I know tons of women. She said it’s not something many admit to. Perhaps, but I’m not ignorant of the signs and I saw none in any of my friends thus far. P.said he had a lover who went through that…so maybe he has got my share of knowing a victim of domestic violence so to speak of the statistics. M. said the physical violence also goes hand in hand with other forms of violence, verbal for example but I think that’s different, it may destroy you inside but it doesn’t kill you. P.said his other friend had her nipple bitten off or almost by her husband/abuser? I can only imagine that there’s a lot of drink and/or drugs involved in these situations, red mist is not something that descends on sober people that easily. But take lots of coke and spliff for example and you get various psychosis if you were bent that way already. But I have read that it’s very hard to defuse any situation when the abuser is intent on seeing anything you say or do as a provocation that fuels his rage. Trying to plead or leave the room is not an option they allow you to take.
It’s scary.

I have another friend of a friend, male, M. who’s been going through a traumatic time (spent ten days in prison for something he didn’t do) and is in the middle of a court case that’s been adjourned where he’s accused by his ex girlfriend of stalking her and subsequently breaking the terms of his restriction - but not of hitting her. It’s a giant waste of time as he didn’t do anything. In the early days of the split he of course was devastated, crying his eyes out (saw him during that time) and spending ages on the phone to her friends/family trying to understand and not accepting it was over but if he threatened her it was a passing thing.

She had reported him though by this time. He was told not to contact her but she lives opposite the police station in Hornsey where he had to go and report. So yeah, he wasn’t stalking her, he was just there because he had to go into the station. He had then erased all the numbers associated with her from his phone but later when he sent a mass mail out text about something and it got to her brother who had not been erased and on that basis he was reported and thrown in jail for a week. They took his phone. For a couple of days he couldn’t let anyone know what had happened to him. Seems a bit excessive to me.

We think the policeman assigned to his case has a crush on his ex. He’s being very very nasty, to him and to some of his witnesses. You don’t call at 11pm to bully a female character witness for example. He’s since discovered one is a magistrate so he’s changed his tack there. He also coveniently can see her coming out of her flat at any time as the station is opposite it (see above).

Anyway… phones have been examined and there isn’t much to incriminate him … she’s had her day in court and his will come in a month or so. It’s going well it seems to clear him of all this. Part of the problem was that he was recommended to just plead guilty and he told them to fuck off which annoyed them as case would take longer. He thinks ex just told one initial lie based on justified perhaps fears and then could not extricate herself from the crisis she’d created and was counselled to go ahead with something that will then crumble in court. Saying he was stalking you from before Xmas when you have perfectly decent exchanges of texts on your phone and NY wishes and so on is a little undermining of your ‘I was fearing for my life M’lord’.

Clearly you then read of some woman who’s been killed by her ex who had or didn’t have a restraining order, and there’s a lot of it about, a lot, and it must be difficult to know who to believe and it’s best to believe the woman when in doubt as she’s less likely to turn psycho and kill you but… M’s case has now consumed various months and that’s now going to mark him as well in future dealings with relationships. He’s already talking about suing the police for various mishandlings after he wins. If he doesn’t I don’t want to think of what will happen, that’s probably when you turn nasty in some sort of reveng. Plus, if he’s not cleared, which he hopes to be, it’s been affecting his business plenty. He cuts my hair. I truly don’t know him that well though but my friend does and he’s a pussycat round her house, volunteers to fix the gate, do odd jobs and cooks breakfast for everyone if he’s stayed over the night and got up first and generally is a very sweet 40 year old. However, and this is just me playing devil’s advocate, he has a fondness for the Charlie and it’s well established in my writings that I think drugs are generally bad and being known to use a lot makes you a less credible character. They do alter your personality so it’s perfectly possible that one day you’re nice as pie and the next day you’ve gone a bit psychotic. So, only having M’s side of the story I could never swear on his innocence. But he’s sweet. He said ex’s parents were not in court ‘because they’re very catholic and she wouldn’t have wanted them there to hear her lie so blatantly’. What do I know. I’ll wait for the verdict and hope nobody gets punished if they didn’t do something

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

2 September- The trodden path

I met 2 colleagues on the escalators up at the station of my cross/work a while back. It’s a first. After we pass the ticket barriers, they turn left, I turn right. We both say to each other ‘Where are you going?’

Turns out that I’ve been using ‘my’ exit since whenever … and one of them has been using ‘her’ exit for ten years. I have to say I must have been aware there is another exit as I’ve often given people direction to come visit saying ‘At the top turn right’.. but I was convinced the other exit took you elsewhere, behind something in the opposite direction. In fact it takes you to the other side of the road from mine. Colleagues and I think our exit is the one that makes for a shorter trip to our destination. One day when we have time we’ll test it by splitting up at the barriers and waving a flag as to whoever comes up for air first. That would be me and my exit but I think getting to the front door would then be similar. I don’t know. It would be a matter of seconds in any case so hardly worth finding out.

This morning my exit was blocked by a rain leak.. so am forced to use the other one. It feels very strange to do so. It’s not ‘my’ exit, I don’t like it, there’s a longer tunnel (goes under the road).

I realised that I probably live my life in this way as well. I find a path/road/ and I don’t bother exploring others if they’re not markedly different and I get to just ...like my choice. This probably saves a lot of turmoil.. in the long run. Am not one of those people forever regretting not doing this or trying that. But I don’t like it… it’s… boring. I expect another type of person would alternate their exit or change it back and forth every few weeks and so on to explore, have variety, see what happens, change forever. Who are these people?

(ps I hope you appreciate that writing a blog does not require the blogger to be too careful with verb tenses and I swerve happily between present and past tenses. It would take forever to go back and correct. Sorry)

1 September - Freeze & Face

No sooner have I decided on a once in a lifetime experiment, that the world conspires to make me break any resolutions. The experiment is thus: having lots of possessions to get rid of (flat needs upgrade/redecorate) and feeling overwhelmed at the thought of boxes, storing etc, I decided that at least I should not buy anything for a while. I then reduced the ‘a while’ to a month. Seems a 21st century kind of thing to do. The last time I emptied my home was in ’99 and it looked lovely the night before I left it empty for tenants to go travelling. Amazingly, in less than ten years it’s filled up again. This time there’s more ruthlessness and I even got rid of some good vinyl by mistake. A gatefold sleeve lovingly protected in cellophane Selling England By the Pound was got rid of for a mere £1. I think I felt sick afterwards but it would be odd if Genesis still meant that much to me. But there aren’t many albums I once knew the lyrics to and that was one of them.

I digress, so am not buying anything for September, till this particular little moving nightmare is over. I knew I’m likely to see all sorts of bargains, but I also know that I’m a reasonably iron willed person when I want to be. I decided though not to be tempted so am avoiding window shopping or any shops/markets etc. Should be fine.

Then I get a note from the book club girls and apparently we’re reading two this month so there you go… bought them on Amazon, though books are not a problem, I pass them on once read these days. Then I realise that there will be no flights left to anywhere at Xmas so am looking on the net and that purchase may well have to be made this month. Same for theatre, concerts etc. But no buys of other physical things I say.

But what to do? The dermatologist I went to see and who froze the age spot that had chosen to grow on my cheek suggested not 1 but 2 products. One is essential she says, a factor 50plus or 55 if I find it sunscreen which I’ll have to wear everyday because it’s the bloody UV’s that you have to watch out for. And guess what, if you sit under lighting all day in an office for example or you dance in clubs at night, the UV’s will get you. Darn, am condemned to a remaining lifetime of expense to ward off the evil rays. The other product could be optional as it’s some camouflage that they sell in Selfridges and I can use it to cover the now very brown spot that will scab in due time. Or I could use a plaster of course or.. nothing. Am sure both will set me off £50 odd.

Now, then, if my ‘no buy’ policy is to do with money that’s one thing, if it’s to do with space, clearly these 2 things are not going to take up much and I can purchase? But then, could I purchase just jewellery this month? It’s small stuff? Make up is small too? See how quickly you can break the resolve? But no, no, no. you know those clear plastic crates you use for storage? I have 4… full of… bathroom/beauty/hair products. And I don’t buy much stuff, it sort of comes in at night when I’m not looking, it’s left there by ghosts. It never seems to get used up!
Help.

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