18 March - Wardrobes

I just realised why I need a giant wardrobe or a shop room more like it. Because finally maybe all of my clothes/bags/shoes/accessories will be fully visible in one place to me and I'll stop buying.
I buy because I forget what I have, then one day not too often I check under the bed or in another flat or in a shed or in storage and find an entire suitcase of items that I forgot about and I like enough to still wear and which are guess what, similar to what I may have bought again.
This has to stop. I want a new house with a gian wardrobe or else!

17 March - Politics & the City

I was finally checking June Sarpong's website and thinking for all the PR launch talk, it's just women's fluff and nothing that interesting in terms of getting anyone to read it instead of the Economist probably though I realise she launched it to make politics a bit more interesting to fluffy girls out there.

When a friend sends me the recently started blog of a young girl she knows.. Not that young, think twenties. I spot the below paragraph. I would say 'bless' if it wasn't that the relevant thing to note is that she is studying journalism, not disco dancing...

"Now im just a Journalism student with a very weak sense of direction when it comes to politics. I know that Gordon Brown is the Prime Minister and I also know that David Cameron is leader of the Conservative Party, buts thats just about as far as my knowledge stretches. "



Frightening or what? Never mind the 'im' instead of 'I'm' but should I leave a comment to say at least go check PATC?

16 March - Sunday & Teens

Forgot to say that as another Sunday got to a close I was totally knackered.

I pick up my printed diary for the week and swear. See, there it is, I had written go to Dick 's club in Romilly st because a) not been yet and was mentioned over a month ago by P. who actually said in her FB that she 's planning to go, so I could have texted her and check.

Instead it's 9.30 and on the list I still have: clean and fix thingy shelf to put up in bathroom, read all the Sunday papers, only managed the Culture so far and even found last week's magazine which had missed as in LA, and paint nails, yep, it helps to go to a job I loathe right now if I have decent hair and nails and clothes of course, it makes it more difficult to break down and walk out if I maintain a superficial air of professionalism. Then there's hoover, as not been done in over a week, and 'get rid of plastic bags that have collected in the kitchen'. And I won't have time /energy for some self gratification, did that last night and can't repeat the exploit.
There was a time I didn't have lists. In fact I still don't, preferring to test my mind as to remember it all somehow. But have taken to writing plenty of notes on the print outs of weekly diaries I print at work. They're full of scribbles because I keep forgetting stuff.


So in order to achieve at least two things in one section of time I turn the TV on and there's nothing more inspiring than that no. 1 detective agency. I leave it on in the background as I read the main paper. Realistically speaking I have 2 hours in which to do all, as have to meet a builder at 7.45am. Life sucks if there's only one of you to do it all for yourself.

And then I don't sleep well. My no. 1 hate item in life is waking up at 2am to go and pee, even if i haven't drunk anything since 10pm and gone to the loo before crashing at 12pm. Because surely there must be a pill one can take to make one's bladder last till morning. Will I have to wake up twice per night when I pass 50 and just do it in the big sanitary towel for old people when I pass 60? This is going to be so annoying!!


So instead of doing anyhing I catch up with some friends on the phone. The innocent question to D. about how's her kids and the answer and the answer I get is that J. has just come back from Thailand having sex with prostitutes, whereas R. is doing a the stripper course to pay for college. At least they're well twenty something, and adult enough to make own choices good or bad.

The other day in idle checking of websites I went and looked at teens, well it said it was all over 18 so I figured I wasn't breaking any law. And there they were hundreds of them blah blah. It's like everyone wants to be in their own movie. I can't help but belive that the girls are always coaxed into it by their or boys in genearl but maybe there is also some peer pressure at work. In any case do any get pai d for it all or do they do it all for free. I always think it's the height of stupid to offer all this content for free when some advertiser, or owner of site makes money with the various subcriptions I will never take on because my curiosity is very superficial. yes there may be over 2, 700 photos of mary x and her ... hairy etc, (er different w ebsite) but you know, the sample 30 or so are more than enough, though of course am told she has dedicated fans. Who are these people? Oh, only our boyfriends, lovers, brothers, husbands, colleagues, sons etc.

15 March - Radio 4 & Tom Cruise

How we revert to type. When toph is here, Radio 4 is on all day long every day. He has it on both in the kitchen and bedroom so it's left on even when he's in his 'office' and may be listening to other music there or in the living room /same thing. I find it infuriating to come back and turn the bedroom one off realising electricty has been wasted thus all day. Yes, even if I don't pay electricity here or at buckingham palace I'd be boring for England as i go around all the room switching off what's not used.

I have a friend with a Nespresso coffee maker. I used to half live there and if I came in when I knew she'd gone on holiday for a week or on a business trip for a few days, I would switch the machine off because it turns itself on in seconds when you need it. One day I did it in front of her and she said "So it's you! I had been telling off the cleaner and she had of course denied it". Much discussion (well 2 mins, I love my friend because you can be to the point with her) followed on the merits of why do you leave it on 24/7 when you're not here and she replying along the lines of what business is it of yours, it's my house blah blah. Which of coruse it isn't, but I'm the one who wants to save the planet i guess though i regularly don't tick the donation you can make to offset carbon emissions on cheap flights. So there you go, I'm a giant hypocrite. All this to say that Toph has been absent from these shores for weeks and I just thought blimey I have never thought of switching on the radio. This is because I have never done so all my life and it just doesn't occur to me. For a start I cannot abide the same news relayed to me again and again and again, they would sound like ads and I'd have to go turn the volume down everytime.
As you can imagine I'm not the audience for bbc news 24/5 or sky news 24/7. I get annoyed enough that the Sunday news are effectively the Saturday news. News as they unfold mean nothing to me. I want my news with a little mediation. I dont' believe there wouldn't ever be none because even in chosing what to broadcast to me and all, an editorial decision has already been made so you know, if I see a fireball somewhere it doesn't mean we know who blew who up etc.

Talking of news I was dismayed to read that the ex prime minister of Thailand thanked the fact his assets were frozen when he came to London and was not allowed to go back, thus avoiding him further speculation with his own money, which he would have lost in the general meltdown of last 12 months. The bastard is going to get his hands on his money eventually, he didn't seem to doubt that, and the amount would be more he'd have made /lost by trading. I don't know where I can turn this anger away from giving me cancer. I may have to start sounding like a lunatic and verbally say things like "Shooo, away from me thoughts that I cannot do anything about and are just making my stomach churn and what's it to me what happens in Thailand?" and so on. It's a wonder to me I sleep at night but when I wake up and half remember dreams temporarily, it's clear that I just worry at night like mad. It's not fair. I want rest. When I'm not worrying, I wake up remembering I was having a pretty good love match with Tom Cruise. This is peculiar beyond belief. There has never been the slightest conscious thoughts I've given to the guy. I don't even care about Scientology, I think they're light years away from ever spreading it far enough for me to worry (cancer avoided there). So what's he doing making me sexually fulfilled. That is so wrong. I hate his teeth, even after he's had the vampire ones capped. And the sloping shoulders, and the Bono platform. All of him.

13 March - Snags

It doesn't take long at all to plunge back into being miss angry. It's not the city, I like where I am, it's the unnecessary commuting and the fact that I don't learn any of my own lessons. Lesson #25 is either you give up loving items of clothing that snag easily or you stop wearing rings, bracelets, pick up keys by rummaging in back and therefore snag said items of clothing. To be hones I had the lover buy me a pretend engagement ring at Xmas because I like really high set classic stones and I wanted to test how I'd get on. This was a pointless exercise as I didn't need to carry it on to know that high set stones would snag many a favourite knitted missoni style dress or cardigan.

And it's happened again this morning on the way over which was a few hours before I realised I had left at home the planned outfit for later when I go see a buch of old Waggers at Chris Sullivan's new club somewhere in the Angel. I simply cannot go dressed as I am for workday tedium but I have no time to go home since I have to go to see a hot new band first. The solution would be to just go out buy new clothes but that seems silly in light of impending job throat cuts at my firm.. mmmmhhh. Yes, see, how quickly one can turn pissed off?

12 March - Badger and Betty Ford

The crazy american boy met in Hampi in January 06, a lifetime ago it seems, touched base very unexpectedly when I arrived in LA. There was an email of his, first in two years probably , saying he was in rehab. As he lives in Cali, I replied to say guess where I am , am here , gave him all the numbers, told him to call call call.

But didn't hear back till I got back and his later email was sent practically as I was flying and he informed me he had been at the Betty Ford clinic in PALM SPRINGS, and came out on Thursday. Darn! Missed him by a day and bizarre than when I was in the Joshua Tree park, I had thought of him becuase of all the boulders, in fact had said to Toph that it was like Hampi minus the elephants and crazy indians.

I know I know people who are in intimate contact with amy wino and pete docherty, but I don't have a genuine rehabber in my book and he could have told me stories. If only I could remember his real name too. Imagine getting there at reception and asking for 'Badger', yep. that's his name. mmmhhhh...

I replied to say that Joshua Tree was like our beloved Hampi with more boulders and no river and no holy men hiding in the bushes offering wisdom and not a (native)Indian in sight.... shame shame shame. And it took me a whole 48 hours to come up with the name of his compadre on that trip, Jovi. The one who was on the train somewhere and had not noticed that Badger had not got on after a stop and the poor boy had to get in a taxi and chase the train to the next stop. Not that difficult given the speed of drivers and the non speed of trains in India. Or maybe it was Jovi who had been left on the platform. How is it possible that I don't remember shit from 3 years ago? What's going on? Will this be why life in a few years won't be as unbearable as I think becuase one will be practically like a goldfish and constantly thinking, oh I do like this rosebush so.... having said /seen the same twenty five times previously. I despair.

11 March - Road & Rage

Read below, it's from last month but I only found out ten days ago when I run into my old mate D. who spat it out with some understable anger. She happens to be the wife of nearly 20 years (or hey, their eldest is 17 and it had started some time before then)... the wife who doesn't seem to exist AT ALL in the article below that just gushes about how happy/lucky Cerys Matthews is to now be dating her agent/manager, the nearest shoulder to cry on perhaps. Maybe she's hoping to get out of paying management fees? D. had to go talk to her youngest's school people when the story was first in The Sun, just so they'd knew her boy would be upset or acting strangely perhaps.

They're divorcing, after all she found out by finding them in bed which is a bit careless of him. But I asked, if you found out, and you didn't call/tell The Sun, then how come the papers know? Doh, stupid question, if you're a has been anything then you are the one feeding stories because your PR people probably think it's good that you are in the news if you have an album coming out or a tour to promote and your money from the Jungle has run out already. Except that it's all for real when it happens to someone you know. Abbo, what a coward. If you're married and you wanna 'date', then please tell your wife or just have a well managed affair instead, nobody needs to get hurt. I mean, mistress no. 1 here, I'll raise my hand, but I didn't break anybody up, which is pretty damn considerate of me when I look back.

Needless to say he's 50 this year so you know, Cerys has better knobs than a motorbike, I'll give you that, the just out of bed hair, smoked a thousand fags voice is a puller. Oh and they've reformed the band he was in when he was an 18 year old punk. I won't mention the name but of course I looked on the net and saw the pictures of the saddo old fat fans who still wear bad t-shirts a zillion years later.... How much more of a mid life crisis can you have? Or hang on, maybe this is all a cunning plan to publicise his band and get some re-releases and so on.Maybe Cerys is just going to get shafted.. again!

Feb 15 2009 by Andrew Dagnell, Wales On Sunday
SONGBIRD Cerys Matthews is getting over jungle love rat Marc Bannerman – by dating her AGENT, we can reveal today.
It comes just months after she finally ditched ex-EastEnder Marc, 35, after their troubled on-off romance hit the headlines.

The star-crossed lovers met in the Australian outback while appearing in the ITV1 hit I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! in 2007.
But now the 39-year-old ex-Catatonia singer has put that behind her – and hooked up with her long-term manager Steve Abbott.
Steve recently told a group of friends that he is mixing work and play, by getting it together with the Road Rage singer.
A friend told Wales on Sunday: “Steve said he was in a relationship with Cerys.
“I think it’s just early days, but they would make a great couple.
“Especially after everything Cerys went through with Marc Bannerman, she definitely deserves a bit of love in her life.
“Hopefully this relationship will have some staying power.”

In his teenage years, Steve was the lead singer and guitarist in an experimental punk band which toured the world and released two albums and various singles that topped the independent record charts on both sides of the Atlantic.

Bizarrely, he is also credited with coining the term “goth”.
But he retired from performing at just 21-years-old – and set up music management company Bedlam in 1988.
Having known former hell-raiser Cerys for years, he looks after her busy schedule, organising press interviews and album release dates.

As well as Cerys, he also takes care of opera diva Hayley Westenra, Song of Praise presenter Aled Jones, singer-songwriter Heather Nova and cellist Julian Lloyd Webber. Another mate told us: “Steve is a great guy. He’s very caring and a genuinely decent soul.

“You can’t say a bad word about him – he’s an absolute gentleman.
“He’s always been there for her during her career and I would imagine she really trusts him.
“He’s a brilliant match for Cerys and I’m sure they will get along really well for a long time to come.”
Last night Steve, who is thought to be in his 40s, refused to talk about the couple’s blossoming relationship – but did not deny it was going on.
When asked whether he and Cerys were dating, he told our reporter: “It’s possible. I’m not denying it. You will have to ask her. We see a lot of each other because we work together.
“You will have to ask her that question.
“She’s very private, especially after all that’s been in the papers... and she’s got her kids to look after.”

It’s the latest twist in Cardiff-born Cerys’ complicated love life, which saw her quit Nashville, Tennessee, after she walked out on her American music producer husband Seth Riddle, just four years into their marriage.
The singer fled back to Wales with their two children, Glenys Pearl y-Felin, aged five, and three-year-old Johnny Tupelo Jones, before she went into the jungle.
It was there that she started her ill-fated tryst with Bannerman – best known for playing Albert Square heart-throb Gianni di Marco – who was still officially going out with Footballers’ Wives actress Sarah Matravers, 33.
But Cerys dumped him two days before Valentine’s Day last year over the phone, claiming he couldn’t cope with her responsibilities as a mother.
The singer recently confirmed that she and her kids have settled in London, where Steve’s business is also based.
She even splashed out on a home in salubrious Holland Park, where she hopes to stay for the foreseeable future.
Cerys, whose family still live in Trefin, Pembrokeshire, revealed: “I’m hoping this is going to be a long-term thing but when I say settled, it’s in six-month increments.”

10 March - Bocca di Lupo

So, if my coworkers were impressed by the stamina yesterday straight off the plane, they'd be even more floored if I told her I got home at midnight after dinner at BdL, newest thing in town or thereabouts. Courtesy of the architect, though the things you may not like about the place, he doesn't like too but he had to compromise with the owners as you do when you design a place. I liked it, my gripe was that the tables were so small and close together but maybe 4 of us should not have had what effectively was a table for 2. And yet we had to strain to hear each other. But the last time I was in this street, was 25 years ago when an old casino was here, who remembers? Was another life and the bug had not bit me then. I seem to remember I lost my £30 or £40 , giant sum at the time, and thought this game is not for me, whaterver it was. So, BdL... good idea this Italian mixture of regional dishes, they were good, though the starter/tapas sizes are far too small to share anything.

I have never been to dinner with the wife of L, who I love,ok, fancy, been to do's but not in close proximity and maybe we're having an off night but I don't think she says anything too impressive. And there I was, jealous of her better than mine job and the two gorgeous boys. For a while the other 3 are busy talking about her bro who's well known and who seems to have pissed them all off badly at some point, being a bit of an arrogant bully. Then we talk about the small controversy of Julie Myerson's novel about kicking her 16 year old kid out of the house and changing the locks cause he's a skunk smoker but all 3 confess we'll never bother to read it. And then I don't remember, but it was funny and J will cook for us all soon as nobody does dinner parties any more.

Talking of energy, I forgot that the night before the flight to LA I did have 5 people over for dinner and at 10pm I persuaded the girls that we were going to Mish Mash in Chiswick just because I thought a bit of mindless dancing would take the edge off and I wouldn't arrive in LA wanting to bite Toph's head off instead of his cock. The 3 of them kept saying 'are you sure you want to go out? we're fine if we don't go', but DS was over from Krakow so of course we had to show her a good time. Eventually she had some, but I could tell the place was too suburban and next time I'll have to take her to East London instead. They all thought the place was cheesy when they walked in and it is, but there's no arguing with top sould and r'n'b hits and more obscure but brilliant stuff. For a start, miss ex #1 back in '94 could easily sing along to all of them, and she did! And fancying that I can carry a tune I happily did the break in 'it's quarter to eleven, we're gonna go to ghetto heaven, ghetto heaven (go higher lisa, much higher) and then come the bababbbabba etc. And my disco granny mate DN also had a great time. I mean there were women MUCH older than us there. Fifties grannies, and a quota of younger guys who paid us attention. So thrilling in fact. LH kept saying that Steve who we left at home, would have hated it and DS's hubby, my cutting edge producer house guest would have run out except that you know, Britney and so on, they're all still stealing from that scene. JP doesn't play Lionel Ritchie you know? Anyway, got there at 10.30, back after midnight, bed and go to Heathrow. Love it.

On another note, I had left a male guest in the flat before going, well, he's here for a while. So I have to moan about men. What do you think it is that makes the scum from the shower, around the plughole, invisible to them? The week before, when I was home, I cleaned it various times as I prefer a bath so it had to go. These 9 days away have seen a larger accumulation and you'd think he'd have noticed it whereas before you know, I made it disappear so you could forgive... Am still puzzled over this. Later on I will show him the Cif, the spongy/clothy thing and explain the circular motion that will erase HIS scum from MY bath. I don't care if he's a famous producer or not, this is not a hotel.

9 March - The Bill & the Roth

The rock 'n roll lifestyle no longer can be described as being part of my life, and was moderate by any standards a decade ago, but once a r 'n r constitution is developed, it sort of sees you through life. So it is that the whole of my present little world (let's just say work colleagues) are surprised when, upon arrival at midday with suitcase in tow, I tell them I've come straight off the plane after an 11 flight... Like, wow, you must have energy. As a matter of fact I am no longer doing something so pressing and crucial that I need to be here at all but I don't throw holiday time away just like that, every one of those bastard 25 days a year are precious to me so turning up at midday means you don't have to technically even take the half day off, nobody is going to check. And apart from that I didn't fancy dealing with my own admin much whilst away so there's that to catch up too. Plus you can be fresh with your news that, true to form, I was sat having a greek salad at a pavement table in Larchmont Village (no, me neither, till Toph elected to come here for his yogaworks main branch, it's near Hancock Park if you should know, no me neither, ok, not far from La Brea, that will do) when I spotted my one famous person of the week. Tim Roth walked by with a beautiful woman and a beautiful child - not sure they were his, looking his usual dishevelled self. They must know him well out here too because his face is on plenty posters on the strip advertising some drama I will probably never watch, called Lie to Me. Think he plays a shrink who helps police perhaps by detecting liars. Doesn't sound that engrossing but maybe it is. So I look up and as I tell Toph to turn, our Tim smiles - so Toph tells me, am not making it up, the smile that says I know you're one from Blighty and you know me from that first Mike Leigh drama where you saw me with Gary Oldman for the first time.

Funnily enough PM who's lunching with us, is more excited to go to a reading that her part time lover GP is doing up at the Machado's house (he was the Mexican undertaker in Six Feet Under and his wife is in many things) because Joe Mantegna is reading too. Yes, that's impressive too but I wouldn't fancy Joe, great actor that he is, whereas our Tim... Well, our Tim is not even it. As we walk back to the car we go past the cute, cute pens full of puppies who are ready for fostering or adoption and which are drawing the crowd that's here for the Farmers market too. Those are the same all over so I won't bore you, except that here they're very generous with their samples. And it's then that I spot him, sitting on the floor wearing a wool cap, long sleeved green t-shirt and being exactly like Billy Bob Thornton. No, he isn't, but he's his best lookalike down to the lovely grey beard and it's lovely that Toph is not a touchy one because I actually say it aloud 'If i had a thing for older looking guys, that would be the one, the Billy Bob'. PM merely points out that it's a fine line between hollywood actors and possibly street bums as the clothes are roughly the same.

This would be the good point at which to tell you Toph's little doggy anecdote that he's been using to all his London friends for a week. It was actually here, in historic Larchmont, ahem, 100 years old? That he was having a snack by himself last Sunday sat next to two women who were discussing the merits of Jeff and how he was perhaps not the one a he was not responding to her the way she wished and Jeff this and Jeff that, and Toph is eavesdropping the LA women's talk and the punchline is that this Jeff is not her new lover/boyfriend but... a dog. Yep, he was totally being discussed in human terms. Bless. Toph hates small dogs and keeps rubbishing the little chihuahuas so I have to shoosh him as PM had one briefly and also point out that they are practically the local breed over from the mexico border. you know, there a state of chihuahua and I guess the dogs come from there or am i being dim for once?

Anyway, Tim Roth, am sure you're having a nice life in LA, I'll check you out on youtube becasue my life has become too short to watch TV drama and no amount of tantalising Hollywood Reporter stories are going to make me get involved with Lost, Heroes, 24 or the Wire, nope, not seen an episode of that one yet, not even half one. What do I do all day????

The good thing is that the Larchmont scene, complete with yogaworks, is full of women and guess what? I don't feel too out of place round here despite not having a remodelled anything. PM has had a facelift a while back but Toph tells her she looks like my sister and we can pass for 38 max. Which means I can save the facelift till I'm 58 right? Having said that, when I told a friend about the Tim Roth near encounter, she said when she was in Larchmont last she saw Eva Mendes so er.. yeah, that would make me feel like shit, she's definitely mega healthy hot.

8 March - The Strip

We're driving back from dinner in Venice with a crazy couple. She, I know well, so any craziness there is endearing eccentricity I'm familiar with since oh... '88? But he's the 'new' man of 4/5 years and he's an opinionated, self righteous one. Ok, so they're fine together and who am I to comment but I'll give you one example. He writes short books for students to explain all sort of material. Quite why school kids would need a book explaining U2 I don't know but he has written one and has this to announce about Bono 'I don't respect any musician less talented than myself'. Er.. I know he plays an instrument and he's a big Grateful Dead fan (has kept the long hair that should sort of announce how alternative he still is in his fifties) but have you heard of SK? No, didn't think so. I'm no major Bono fan but I would never diss him for a second as a musician. The only moment i think S. is not bad is when he declares he absolutely loves Shameless, so I have to cut him some slack. He says thank god for his g/friend who being a Brit has interpreted some of the language. I didn't know that lekkie was electricity either come to that. How does she know? She's a nice girl from Finchley.

Anyway more later but... We drive back via the Strip for a change and they're all out the young people on their phones outside restaurants and wearing skimpy clothes outside clubs. As we cruise along I'm trying to think of what reason would I have to stop and go in, check it out. Would they even let me in since I've come from Joshua Tree (ha ha, U2 link there, should have used it earlier) and am not wearing clubby clothes, though, my national park clothes are of course more glam than anyone else's. The 50's inspired hold-up top could be customised in a second to make it to a night out and am not wearing jeans of course but nice grey trousers, and in the bag I have an assortment of bling that was removed earlier to make room for thorn scratches when we went off piste (we were looking for a suitably sunny boulder on which to have some straight up sex but in the end abandoned the idea, all the sunny sides were in view of tourists and the non sunny sides were below zero, sort of. It's ok to save it for next time, this was the rekkie.

And so it is that we reach home/temporary accommodation and a saturday night in LA went by with no glam. It's ok because the glam is probably indoors in someone's house and not in silly clubs for show off teenagers but still. I AM a teenager.

7 March - Palm Springs

I'll tell you all about it later..... tbc

5 March - Brits & Food

Well, trust us to come from London and want to go dine in the LA outpost of favourite joint, Cecconi's. Silly or what?
We arrive at 9pm as we haven't booked a table for 4 and this way we can wait for one. I've read the reviews and they all said that the soft week/s were a bit mayhem as loud and clubby and friendly but nothing to write home about on the food side. But they opened on Oscar week so naturally it was chaotic.

We make friends at the bar with some people so now should I need a top realtor I know one. She looks like Demi Moore and is of Italian descent, aren't they all here? or Irish? Or is that NY? There could be a mass of famous faces here but I wouldn't know who's big in TV so it falls to Toph to recognise Nigel Lythgoe not because he's a judge on the X Factor or the like but because he worked in TV, on the other side. Am, clueless though have heard the name. Eventually the lovely front of house girlies who are truly gifted at their job since they keep us up to date with our table and are generally fun, get the best table that allows me full view of the restaurant and Toph has a view of PM's chest exposing dress. I think this is the table Madonna would have got had she turned up so am well happy. PM's lover GP is such a delightful man with a Richard Gere look that's irresistible though he's much shorter or maybe RG is short too, they all are , they just look big on screen.
He's also enchanted by the flesh revealing dress and even more so since my g/friend told me she no longer sleeps with him (till he does something about leaving the wife working at the UN in NY) and she just enjoys turning him on and letting him stew. We think the wife funds a lot of his LA lifestyle so clearly he has reasons to not quit.. till he's made it either as an actor or screenwriter/director. He has us in hoots when he confesses that he's not actually come from a karate class but from a ballet one. He just says karate cause he's puerto rican and all his friends would just rib him to death for such a non macho 'sport'. The poor babe!

Toph makes friends with the maitre d', with the main waiter and the waitress by doing his usual 'I hear a Brit accent right?'. He's oblivious to the fact they're busy but they indulge in in small talk and when he says he lives behind Nick the owner, we get free appetizers. Nice. Techically the owner is now Jamie Caring's dad as 80% shareholder if am not mistaken. I don't even know why I say Jamie Caring's dad except that I don't remember the name of billionaire Caring Snr and it just now makes perfect sense that JC who didn't seem to know that much, had a plum job from a young age at MTV, guess that wasn't difficult to get as work experience heh? But I digress as usual.

So, the menu is sort of London lite and for hours we don't see our food. But it's actually the one time we don't care cause we're laughing so much and the nero d'avola is going down a treat. We hardly notice that everyone else has gone home by 11pm cause they must all have breakfast meetings or personal trainers at 7am to meet. When eventually our bill arrives there's the drinks at the bar missing and also the second bottle of wine. You have to wonder how difficult it is to put the right item on the right bill right? God knows, and my bill comes in 3 separate bills as god knows what they did there too but I am not pointing it out, I just over tip and ease my conscience that way. Mr & Mr Soho House better sort their staff out before they really get busy crazy and lose tons of cash this silly way.

The evening ends with Toph having established that GP loves jazz and offering his mate Brandford up for a gig when he's in LA in a couple of weeks, tickets and backstage all around. So they're now firm friends.

4 March - TV

What's not to like if you're not working and just getting up late, seeing the BF off to work, go lie by the pool, then meet for lunch then go wandering, then go catch a yoga class? One could get used to this life dead easy and it would be years before i need the anti depressants cause it's actually mega boring. Plus I'd be in a clinic for various bits of surgery half the time and the other half in a SPA recuperating surely?

Back in the days when my job didn't bore me to tears, I'd have hated this lifestyle of not producing anything of any value but who was I kidding? I just assisted some value output but it's all forgotten now and not having the faintest desire to engage in the battles that would result in anything of value, the flip of the coin is to be happy to be bored.

After all, Toph is here to work on a progamme which is dead good on paper and a successful series in the UK already but the battles he has to fight re. his script which doesn't meet WOW factor that the networks demand here (and he can't well fabricate it, it's a docu not something you can douse with unbelievable plot twists!)are giving me the creeps by proxy. Truly.

Much late we to to dinner with talkshow producer (he owns the format so it's a good /successful/ money making gig) but he's soooo tired. I make sympathising noises about crazy unpredictable, no ball playing guests (see Mr J Phoenix on Letterman) but he says it's not the guests who are the main problem. He says you should pick your host more carefully and it should not be a woman who has no other life outside of the show , so that she's in the studio at all hours of day and night just wanting to talk the show. No, it's not Oprah or Ellen. No.

Earlier we went past the bar by the Warner studios that looks like a swiss hut and saw George Clooney going for a drink there back in his ER days filming next door, and now is production company is called the same (stone me, I forgot). Now that's a good example of jobbing it for years not very successfully and then you do your years on ER and you get to 40 before you turn mega star! See, the dream can happen at any time....

2 March - Nowa Huta in the Sun

The BF did me proud, there he was with the flowers and homemade sign with my busy agent/producer/organiser g/friend nickname. I have another one for when am not organising shit, and for the just fuck me other hours in the day/night. But I guess he would have felt exposed to use that, that's the secret one right?

So he drives me where he's staying, the Oakwood apartments which a zillion people seem to know since they're a sort of holding pattern for minor characters in the TV world and conveniently placed next to the Warners and Universal studios. There are two identical pools and about 20 blocks of god knows how many identical apartmetns. If it wasn't for the sunshine it is a sort of Nowa Huta communist foundry worker complex. Though the beds are considerably larger than back in Poland I'm sure.

In the convenience store on the grounds, there are headshots of kiddies pasted all over above the shelves. I don't recognise a single face/name but then again I don't watch soaps of any kind. One day the OC the next you get a movie, that's how it works I think.

Practically next door is the Forest Lawn cemetery which seems very nice and probably contains yet more famous corpses or ashes. A few minutese above is the Hollywood sign and a few minutes away is the Hollywood Bowl. I couldn't be more of an aspiring non entity if I tried. I have to borrow a script of any kind to carry under my arm should anyone stop me and want to make friends.

I have the guacamole that I seem to like only in LA, a beer, has to be done, a little tour of Venice Beach and then it's fun time since the boy has not been roughing it up with me for a few weeks. I slept fine on the plane since I had 3 empty seats so I'm definitely not nodding off any time soon.