5th June - Once a child

Always a child I guess. Yesterday I bought some Swarovski components to add/change some necklace I've already made. These days instead of buying yet more u/wear (my default impulse /immediate satisfaction buy - my friend C. says for her it's towels and you'll find most women operate within this narrow field) I have switched to buying crystals, pendants etc which I just add to chains and constantly change the look of my necklaces. Am never w/o one or rings. Bracelets and earrings are changed less frequently. It's all very innocuous and inexpensive. I can't fiddle with small eylets and stuff so everyhing just gets threaded on a silver or gold chain depending on silver or gold mood.

Then had to go to Ikea to view some wardrobes. Sad when everything else seems just not right (given budget) and you have to capitulate to the mighty Ikea. I absolutely hate the idea of having one of their wardrobes same as half the country so am still dithering. However, despite the mantra, am only here to look at wardrobe, I don't need anything else, at 10pm closing time I was standing in line to pay for my small other purchases. One was a frying pan in an oval shape, never seen one before, useful for fish I thought. The other was a couple of pink small storage boxes which I will use instead of wrapping for a gift to two year old child am seeing on Sunday. But to be perfectly honest the child is the excuse to buy a pink box in faux leather finish which having not existed in my days, I just had to have now. Were I furnishing my Barbie corner, well, this box is just perfect. So there you have it, the lure of baby pink is still drawing me at 40something. Uncanny this very tight wiring. Though not every woman will have it. On the way back from Ikea which seems to zonk you out even if you were only in its bowels for 1 hour max, we had to stop for a drink having spied a full, buzzy pavement outside a trendy bar in a West London street. The crowd was not that exciting close up. It included a bunch of young women busy rolling up own cigarettes and sporting various piercings or what I call pseudo Greenham Common attire. I guess none of them would pick up a pink storage box in Ikea. Each to their own. I would be the perfect Bluemarine poster girl, sometimes with some Mugler/Montana thrown in, other times a bit of Dior or a bit of Cavalli. So the feminine/sexy imprint is very strong. Can't help it. Hope it doesn't look stupid at 60.