31 May - Goodbye London, Hello Brazil

I go to a leaving do for top London PR gal who, together with partner, is off to live by beach near Bahia. Top plan. She's already doing PR for some resorts there and she will also build one. Me and PR woman are not friends but have mutual ones.
It's at Momo's where I have not set foot for years.

For a change, it's full of people pushing my age or older and am sure some of them are top fashion professionals only I have nothing to do with fashion. I chat briefly with some people I know from the music side but JR tells me to cheer up at least twice. Think am down because I haven't worked out yet my plan of exit and this woman has.

The evening is only notable because of a reaction that I didn't know I could have. Having spotted one good looking tall mixed race man, I ask JR who he is because had seen him also talking to him. JR says the name, I ask what does he do, answer 'he's a hairdresser'. Me 'Oh god no, not interested'.

Since when do I think I'm better than a hairdresser? But I know what I meant, it was more like that world (bordering on fashion/music/ads/vids etc) has nothing to tempt me and so wouldn't know what to say to a member of that tribe. But still weird reaction as would have come out with it to his face had I been talking to him.

28 May - SATC2

I have a g/friend in town and suggest she takes a break from frantic shopping to meet me in Leicester Square watch the premiere action. She can't but I go along as have never got the lay of the land of these occasions.

And now I know that there's no point loitering at the north end of the square as all the action revolves around cars arriving at the south end and disgorging guests there briefly who then swiftly walk into fort knox ie the heavily fortified centre of the square and from then on, you no see nothing. In the time I'm there I hear some loudspeake announcer tell me that so and so has arrived but of course can't see a thing. Am surprised at seeing so many teenagers outside the cinema shouting for, of all people, Mr Big. who should not really appeal at all to that age group (and also he's not ageing particularly well). Wonder why? There's a theory that these are the children of mums who watched all the TV episodes but I still find it creepy that 16 year olds would dig him. Uh? Anyway, waste of time and the film sounds even longer than #1... so am not in a hurry to see it. Shame. Another phase of life gotten over with.

15 May - Diplomacy & Incidents

Toph and I hardly ever have rows. We have short simmering awkwardness after which we each seem to decide that life is too short and we let them go. Also because we don't really change initial position taken so, what's the point?

But it's rare to have 3 converging in the same day and therefore have to cope with 3 distancing moments.



incident 1. he gives me a dress/gift which I would not have necessarily bought for myself. In fact I know I wouldn't have and when I find out how much he spent on it as I need to exchange it for another colour I am stunned and convinced he was robbed, so I try to say don't do this again, ask me, and end up saying that if I had known that was his budget I'd rather have bought something else I had my eye on and couldn't afford. The height of ungraciousness as he points out but still I insist because I no want a repeat incident next time.

incident 2. the supermarket checkout /rudeness. Toph has pulled me up on this before. He says I treat supermarket checkout people badly as I hardly make eye contact and when asked if I have a points card I reply no in an uncourteous manner (I hate being asked, of course I know they have to). Seems have done it again. He says he can't believe it as am not a rude person. Well, I am actually, he's never seen me seething on crowded trains for example. But you know, I do some good here and there and the happiness of supermarket checkout people is frankly not my concern. At least I don't talk on the phone as they scan my foods. See what I mean? I no change my position.

incident 3. the balls burning skin off. For some reason, having gotten over 1 & 2, he lets himself be persuaded that I really want to encounter no hair on his balls for a change (he's getting old and hair is getting white/wiry for him too). So I get out the hair removal cream and don't acknowledge that he's read the warning not to use on soft parts and coat his balls and his nipples with it too. Of course I should have used the gentle version. So 20 mins after removal, he's slightly bleeding and his balls and tits ache like hell. I am of course horrified at what I've done, envisaging weeks of discomfort and his hatred. I offer painkillers and go white at the sight of flaming red skin. god help me.


Eventually I am forgiven for all 3 above, so truly here goes a bit of tribute to the good boyfriend who recognises that no.3 comes under the usually risk free 'you take good care of me' get out of jail card. I have no heart to tell him how after the skin recovers, the itching will start. Truly should have waxed them but he'll never let me. For the time being I keep telling him how gorgeous his cock looks without the bush on the bollocks.

12 May - S's evening - partial

TBC TBC

Give them enough champagne and...

Reaching for the potion that promises to grow your eyelashes and recoiling in horror when I saw the price £80 something and that was with the 20% discount.

so many women...what are they all after

M's stuff? falling out with the cleaner. Various senses of entitlement.

10 May - Wills & Spills

As a practical person it stands to reason that I should try to have all my affairs in order as much as possible. So am making a Will. The time has come to stop believing one is above the business of death. Some friends are taking a leaf out of my book, some find the mention distasteful.

Anyway, this is to report how tortuous the mental process to divide assets before finalising a Will can be. Even when said assets are frankly small potato.

I can see why it's easier to leave it all to 1 person/charity and be done with it. Or forget all about it and let whoever is still standing get the headaches of sorting it out. But I will plow on. Amazing what glaring omissions one can make and only realise when she's left the draft well alone for a couple of weeks. In that sense, just as well I botched my first appointment at the solicitors or would cost a cool £350 plus vat any time you wish to change/re-draft.

7 May - Short weeks & short answers

Amazing how it only takes a short week to shorten your fuse at work. Somehow you have much less patience when dealing with what I call stupid requests by idiots. Taken on their own they are legitimate questions but they should not be asked /wasting my time of a person who should by now have demonstrated amply that she is more than capable and ahead of the curve. I understand that it is in a certain type of person/psyche to doublecheck arrangments but why spend all that extra worry? In my book you start doublechecking after things have gone repeatedly wrong, not before. Sure you say but no, you have to double check all the time and I'd say no, you don't have to, since the law of anything states that things will also go wrong after you've double checked and treblechecked as that's just part of the shit happens universal scenario. I could spend hours here thinking of many examples but one would be, you can check many times that all works in the car you're about to drive off through the savannah, but chances are that the accident that happens is not due to the car technical spec but to the zebra come out of nowhere and colliding with it.

Similarly we all do our jobs and have our mental checklists so for example if you're going to Tokyo I will know to check if you need a visa or not. So you can ask me once and I'd reply no you don't need one (I checked). Therefore don't ask me again. And if you're really worried that somehow my information and the visa office info is not correct, then look it up yourself on the net rather than ask me again as it's bound to irritate me enormously. Especially on a day when am dealing with 20 similarly IDIOTIC instances of doublechecking. And it happens to be a day where I have a whole in my mouth where one of my molars was yesterday.

6 May - General Election

There's one but you wouldn't know it from me. More excited about always finding someone I know in magazines/newspapers. Past ten days: B &R on Sun Times, A's cousin H. talking to his other cousin David Cameron, B in Observer ad for visiting Switzerland of all places. It's just funny to me.

I also have to report that I know not only read some gardening columns (the ones that cover small gardens, no lawns, no edible plants) but I also try and remember stuff therein for future reference. And am trying to limit what I buy so as not to acquire a mini jungle. And it's true I go look at my buds shooting up every other day. This is very unhealthy sign of declining previous coolness factor. This is the way to just old woman.

2nd May - Iggy & No fun

There was a time when after an Iggy gig, I'd have gone on elsewhere to have fun. But 5 years is a long time in the world of monogamous relationships and so it is that I bade P&S goodbye outside the gig after they insisted only briefly that I go with them on to the fabulous West End. Only briefly because they knew the answer would be 'No'. It's ok to go to a gig with your ex lover but not ok to not return till early hours or not at all. Shame really.

Iggy did not disappoint but this time we were not down the front, mid way I'd say. Trying to hold still to our square of floor when caught in the enthusiastic pogoing of a couple of 15 year olds who seemed to recognise I wanna be your dog. Bless. Felt very jealous as that is the age of course that you form deep bonds with your friends over your love of an artist vs another. Iggy could be their grandad and there they were, one in his herrington jacket, the other one more kurt cobain lookalike.

Earlier we'd bought my ticket off a kind late 20's bloke who sold it face value as his mother (70) could not make it! He lives in Herts, has taught English in Nepal but the most bizarre bit of info concerned his sister who's my age he said and who works as a dominatrix in the burbs. How funny is that? He was kind of impressed we knew other musos there (spotted in muso audience were Jarvis Cocker, Bobby Gillespie, Don Letts, Rat Scabies) but didn't know who Jim Jarmush was. P's daugther who's short of 3 years old but already watches and likes Charlie Chaplin movies, will probably start to dig Jarmush movies in a couple of years. We move in orbiting little universes where we all know what we know, like what we like.

Turns out P&S had a reasonable but not exceptional time in WE after the show as well, it was a Sunday night after all.

There are a dozen posts I have not finished with and missing from late April. They will appear eventually.