30 June - Charidees & Caffeine

the Angolan charity worker friend sends a picture of the exterior and interior of the container that functions as her home in the middle of nowhere. Am all for the simple life but this is ghastly viewing. She writes:
Dear all, as you may be aware when I arrive back in London I spend most of my time saying things like; 'oh running hot water' 'a flushing toilet' 'clean clothes' and the even better...SOFT TOILET ROLL . My NGO prides itself on only spending 6% of its funds on expats , thier food and accomodation-unlike Madonna who spent 3.2 million bucks of other peoples money without laying a brick in Malawi, or Bono who of the gazillions his ONE project gets spent $187,000 in Africa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! disgusting...or the UN and Oxfam who fly all expats first class-when we are down the back next to the loos.

Thought you should know when you next reach for making some donations, not that Madonna raises anything so if she wants to squander her money so be it. Eejiot


I will also bury in this post the following informationa, of which I'll have to start giving you more as the years start to impinge into my youthful period and enlarge the descent into old age one. I was recently out on a rainy sunday with some visiting friends/tourists. We stopped for lunch and as they ordered a glass of wine I did too and got a large glass of full bodied red (they always bring you large glasses, darn), Then an espresso lungo and for some reason they made that a double. Later on I went to meet a friend who was in the early stages of getting drunk in a bar naer the ROH and since I didn't want to join her cocktail hour, I asked for a fruit cocktail and an americano. This they made it seems just by adding 4 espressos into a large cup. I did clock that the fruit cocktail was made of excessive quantities of sugar but was busy chatting. It was only later when I got home and a massive dump was the first thing I had to do as I rushed throught the door that i thought back on this consumption as I lay on the sofa in the grips of headache that doesn't shift for 3 hours and 2 nurofens. The perils of clean living! Imagine if I had also said yes to .. I don't know... a line and a real cocktail? I'd have died in a most stupid way. The moral has to be talk less and register what you're given that doesn't correspond to what you've ordered.

And I should also register in defence of slowly getting drunk friend that her life has not been the greatest despite outwardly seeming so (she has fab creative job and night before was busy shagging a chef who owns some other restaurant and she's still only 30 and beautiful). I asked if she was going on holiday and she said she should head back to USA where father is dying of cancer but she doesn't feel like it on account of father having divorced her mother and left her as a young toddler... On top of that her beloved half brother died only a few years ago of a heroin overdose (a mistake, not suicide) in his college room at Uni. Then she miscarried with previous boyf who sounds like he's a nasty piece of work despite being very successful singer. The kind who constantly points out your failings. No wonder she had bulimia and a bit of anorexia. Felt like hugging her for a long time which no doubt forms part of the attraction as I seem to always say things that make perfect logical sense and are sensible to friends who somehow hanker after 'normal'. Oh dear. Poor baby B.

26 June - Glastonberry

blog in disrepair! so will whiz through some entries.

Watching Glastonbury footage on TV as has become the norm. Never wishing to be there to be tediously entertained by ... Coldplay or watching live Beyonce' who's fine as it is on TV screen. Feel twinge only watching U2 as seemed heartfelt performance at least from Bonio who is there on a pilgrimage to the ley-lines as he informs his old bird Jo Whiley. Bless. I hate all the presenters for different reasons, even the new ones whose names will never penetrate my subconscious. Though that zane boy laugh when asked to comment about beyonce' was a good comedy moment.

Spent ages following day etc cyber stalking The Edge's wife who's no mere booty shaking dancer (they met on some distant tour but she was originally there to body coach Bonio who probably fancied her and then they suggested she dances along to mysterious ways. God knows how she manages to live in boring Ireland coming from LA where he dad was some film studio lawyer. She does coreograph stuff and so does her sister and bro in law. See? I told you I cyber stalked good. Found picture of edge with no hat. Oh dear! and found baby picture of bonio who was deadringer for irish husband of chum whose baby girl also resembles cherubic baby bonio. Then i got bored thinking I have no interest to cyber stalk anything to do with Chris Martin or Jay Z and that's got to be a good thing at my current age.

24 June - Professor Layton & Eccentrics

Went to visit a friend last night and he made me watch as he explained how to play this game on Nintendo DS, it's riddles and puzzles to solve to move through the game.. all watched on a very small screen.

My friend is 57 years old.
I never cease to wonder.. you think I’m eccentric but I clearly come from a ‘family’ of eccentric friends….
He has also just passed his motorbike test because he rode a bike up and down Vietnam recently but had never actually learnt how to… well done him.
For some inexplicable reason I was then looking at Nintendo DS on ebay and they seemed pretty cheap and since I. had said he'd lend me the games, I ended up buying one. Bonkers! It will go the way of the 'seemed like a good idea at the time'. I just know I will never have the patience to sit there with this toy and work out solutions, I am impatient, gets easily frustrated and what seemed like a way to keep my brain ticking over is.. just not natural. Maybe I can give it to Tophs' mum? Am sure his nephew already has one no doubt. Am kicking myself now. I would have to use it at home, can't do it at work or on the underground and when am at home I can think of a zillion other ways to spend the few hours away from work that I have...

Professor Layton (レイトン教授, Reiton-kyōju?) is a puzzle video game series for the Nintendo DS developed by Level-5. The series consists of four games and one film, and at least two more games for the Nintendo 3DS and one more film are due in 2011/2012. The first three games are about Professor Hershel Layton and Luke Triton's adventures together. The next three games and the two films are prequels and are about how Luke and Layton met and their "original" adventures. Although only the first trilogy is available outside of Japan, Level-5 has stated that eventually the other games and films will be localized.
Each title is based in a series of puzzles and mysteries given by the citizens of towns that the main characters visit. It is not necessary to solve all the puzzles to progress, but some are mandatory and at certain points in the game a minimum number of puzzles must be solved before the story will continue.
The series has gone on to be one of the most successful Nintendo DS exclusive series, with the lifetime cumulative sales of Professor Layton games standing at 10 million units sold as of October 2010.[

22 June - Net & Tracking

If it's true that google and the rest totally offer us searches tailormade to our profile (based on what we've searched for previously and comments left here and there by the twitterers and Fbookers) then I believe that today I must have skewered their readings of little old moi.

Sure I was listening to Soundcloud as I often do and electronic stuff, not hard rock naturellement or C&W, so there's a major feature of me they know already like... am not very introspective or lacrymose... but at the sime time as was listening I was reading stats on correction facilities in Oklahoma, that's prisons for us Brits. I opened most tabs because I couldn't believe such detail existed. Am sure that if I ever opened the page for NY state or California, the option to look up their prison and escapees info would not be on the actual home/front page. But in Oklahoma it is! Was I looking for a foreign death row penpal? No sir... no such desires, I leave those to the ones who like unfullfilled relatinships but a friend is shortly to arrive on those shores to film a docu on John Steinbeck (whose various novels /plays are set in that state or maybe I am thinking Ohio?) and I realised I don't know what the capital of Okla is (or Ohio for that matter, no wait.. with a bit of effort the Ohio one will come to me... no.. am thinking Portland, Oregon right now.. one 'O' in 3... not good. I also can't quite place those 3 on a map of the USA though think middle and west for the latter.

And did you know that Steinbeck never wrote anything else (I mean published) after he was given the Nobel prize? Poor guy was criticised so much when he won that he lost his mojo. Which reminds me was with two 40 something Americans last week, they work in creative media/film effects and the mention of Steinbeck didn't really register...One of them is from Lousiana, the other I don't recall. I explained who Steinbeck was, named some titles, said him and Faulkner blah blah. Nope. Then again, Toph is reading some famous guy (who covers some Steinbeckian themes) called Vollman and I had never ever heard of him. Quite influential I believe he is. Though at 1500 pages I don't think I can/want to know.

Doh, looked it up.. it's Oklahoma City. Bit boring, hence would have never got to it..... and wow, it's native indian country. Spent happy half hour clicking on town names that are just so exotic. Recognise Tulsa. And Route 66 goes through it. Guess if you were into americana you'd know but am curiously not interested. Real big, empty country. That would be the entry point obstacle for me. I like it busy.

21 June - Plans & Planes

Booked Majorca. With only carry case, what will I do? But then noticed how many summer outfits are literally silky-no weight numbers, so a good 7 or 8 can be taken along for a 5 day trip. If only there was a way to wear severa pairs of shoes at once, that's what does me in. Maybe I can post some ahead? Same for books? M. says I'll find stuff to read there but this is my chance to mash the novels of some people I know who have written in styles that are not my thing (spy and 18th century historical) and only peace on a beach and lack of other choie will make me progresswith them. I can always stick one of them in my waist band front and one on back.... Wonder if Easyjet check in people are wise to that one? I always want to argue but why do you save weight on little me when there's people who weigh twice or three times my weight? Mind you they need bigger luggage in the hold perhaps or maybe they are fat but only use one pair of shoes on holiday? H. said there's an H&M in Palma, but the point is I have tons of accumulated summer stuff already that I want to air.. May wear bikini on top of 3 sets of underwear to leave more space in the little carry on.. but if go through customs like that they'd think am up to no good when viewed through a scanner? Could ask the colleague with partner at immigration at LHR. He must know of a few good ruses but that would open floodgates to her boring me to tears with stories and that won't do.

On another note, how serendipitious is this? Met I. (not seen in a year I don't think) for a frozen yogurt after her massage, who mentioned that my favourite dj (even Toph was able to correctly identify him when asked a' la Mr & Mrs 'Who's my favourite dj?' ) has or takes a house in Goa for the months of Dec/Jan. And what else have I done today if not bring the dream of six months in India one step closer? Bring it on! Canadian dj beware I shall drop in for cup of chai. Need to pinpoint with more accuracy where he may be in big old Goa. Promise won't stalk, but I think he should invite over second favourite djs, the Belgian collective and throw a party for me. For no reason other than I love them and I love India.

But how fickle am I? Was a time the answers would have been Armand Van Helden & FBS... sigh...

17 June - Time & Black holes

I don’t know where time goes says a friend I contacted for a catch up and who gave me a few details of where he's been and where he has to travel to etc. I replied thus …

one of my theories is that in previous decades you always meet your mates in largish groups. That a) means you spend less time doing 1 to 1’s with various mates and b) because the largish group has done the same fun/activity together, it means you then have to spend less time telling your mates what you did/where/how/with whom, because they WERE THERE with you, woke up with you the day after, reminisced and processed on the train back, that sort of thing. This on the whole has got to have saved us hours on end at least on the social side of life. And now we only do 1 to 1's because nobody wants to meet in large groups and nobody shares their house with other friends anymore so each 1 to 1 requires a trip to some other part of Landaan.

On the other hand, in the current decade, I give much less time to listening to friends’ dramas. Or put it another way, friends have become older friends and they process their dramas better ie they don’t require you to stay on the phone for hours whilst they cry over the recent split or work issue and also since you’ve only kept your good and therefore few old friends, you know all the variables in the drama so you ‘save’ time in counselling. Any 25 to 39 need not apply.
You’d think these two time consuming and time savings things sort of cancel themselves out but somehow you still have no time! howzthat?

14 June - same bed, 15 years apart?

Spent night at friends in son's room (son lives with mother elsewhere most of the time). His father told me said bed had received a major previous love of mine only a couple of nights before.
Could have felt a bit odd if it wasn't that 15 years have now elapsed since he was major lover so I went to bed w/o inhaling the pillow or my mind wandering back. Previously I had fallen about laughing when told said lover had been in London as part of a penny farthing bicycle race in Spitalfields. Oddest thing I've come across in years, but then this man liked dressing in tweeds and pre-war pedal pushers. It was an infrequent occurrence 15 years ago but in the intervenign ones he's gone .... 1902. The full monty, including preposterous silly moustache. I simply would not be able to approach his face with a kiss w/o thinking 'what the f?'

Still, it's a free country and he could be dressing up in nazi uniforms and ride a tank like Ace of Spades guy does, so penny farthings are quite the gentler vehicle and I don't have to avoid running him over on some country lane. In fact have to think which would I like the least, him and the stupid wobbly bike or G's husband who relentlessly trains for iron man triathlons and does I don't know how many km on his speed demon bike every week? In both cases the respective partners are total widows. Penny farthing's one probably enjoys his other passion for classic cars but was not at the finishing line of him returning from Paris I don't think? Whilst Iron man's cyclist wife so hates his blatant ignoring of family to follow own competitive streak that she'd never attend a race.
Since am so despising of these passtimes, I wonder when I'll be hit by my own boyf going eccentric with age? Toph takes up pottery? I'd have to leave him. No hesitation.

8 June - Planet & Apes

The fortchoming prequel is directed by bro of friend. Only met him once but liked him and his first movie , prison drama with Jo Fiennes and Brian Cox. Very much. Shame don't know him directly so can't have observed any shift in personality from London life to USA jobbing director existance now married to american scriptwriter, and dealing with humongous budget which would make you vomit every night with fear of cocking it up.
dinner with sister but we talk about other stuff including her husbands' novels which at the moment sadly are not selling too well and those of close good friend of theirs Charles Cumming who's selling like hotcakes. I've met him at recent chess tournament Toph attended (a once in every few years occasion but he didn't lose till 3rd or 4th game and first defeated writer Alex Bellos who is very into numbers and maths). CC is quite attractive and on his website (look, I cyberstalk anyone I come into contact with, helps retain info about them if I see it written down and so can flatter them later on, who doesn't like it?) he has a short vid of him talking to Dominic West who must have been at Eton same time? Lucky for me I have no children so don't have to grapple with conscience to send them to one of the top 3 or 4 schools. Judging on my far removed from government sphere of friends, it would still appear that most of the high achievers in anything are old Etonians and the likes.

So naturally I had to order one of CC's novels as otherwise would be rude not to. I picked the one about spies in HK. The first 50 pages or so give no indication that this will be better quality than any other spy book I have tried to read over the years. I will have to take this on holiday to a beach in order to finish it. Simply doesn't come natural to me to spend time reading this style, but I undertand it's a very lucrative shelf. It seems I know more spy writers (3 in fac) than I know airline pilots (0) or doctors (1). You have to admit this is an odd spec. Ok when I say 'know' it means 'know very little', but still, how many do you know?
btw Rise of the Planet of the Apes trailer looks fab. Will go see. At least to keep up with CGI advancements now that I also know K. who does this sort of thing for one of the leading companies and worked on the first Harry Potter (no doubt together with a zillion others).

2 June - Other lives

Was reading a blog of a friend of a friend who answers questions with some kind of explanation ie. absurd stuff and that led me to blog of a woman with small children, 5 and 9 I think and boy what a splurge of stuff that is. Few postings but very long and written when she's exhausted at night waiting for the washing machine to spew out school shirts and socks etc. All of it is about life with kids which makes me wonder what my daylight thinking hours are filled with since I don't spend a minute thinking about 2 kids.

And if you took the kids away from her what would she spend time thinking? I am reasonably involved in aiding and abetting friends's and their 'need someone who can do this/did I tell you about that' but what else? I do catch myself thinking how great it would be if I took of a picture that's resting on the top shelf of a bookcase (next to 3 vases) and substituted another vase and then that shelf would provide a more harmonious little vista. When this happens, I tend to think life is sucha bore if this is what it throws up (like.. who gives a f about that shelf/those vases, why do we even have them, who gave them, when did we buy, in response to which impulse).
Some other time I watch 20 hours of dvd series in batches of 3, 4 hours - ok you guessed, The Killing, unsatisfactory end etc etc. This is a novelty of the last year, only other previous dvd series watched in fast track was MadMen. Is this another sign of the end ie. ageing?

I bet mothe of 2 kids would feel as shit as I did last night though, watching a docu on the UN brazilian chief Sergio di Mello who was blown up at headquarters in baghdad in 2003, dead now together with many of his colleagues. Pretty harrowing and what a series of achievements he had gathered till then, Cambodia, East Timor, hobnobbing with Kofi and Clinton and basically died because there was no equipment to extricate him from the rubble collapsed on top of him. Another colleague next to him was rescued but only after they sawed his legs off just below his pelvis. So there I was sat on the floor watching very dignified tributes paid to this man and wondering why my head is full of mostly nothing. Not that I believe this is uncommon..

Off to the Biennale shortly... will we run into Geoff Dyer I wonder... or just crazy Courtney?